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jenni321

  • Poetry » Dramatic, General Re: my curse

    Hey, welcome to YWS! remember to review some stuff before you post, or you'll have the YWS ninjas after you... anyway... It's good, I think I understand what you're trying ...

    Jun 15, 2009
  • Poetry » Dramatic, General Re: Invisible

    Hmmm, honestly, the topic has been explored quite a bit already, but I'm always open to variations. I have to agree that the repetition of 'Why, Why Why' ruins the ...

    Mar 29, 2009
  • Article / Essay » Review, General Re: Worst Book You've Ever Read

    Ok, I know this sounds weird, but if I hear of a book thats really bad, sometimes I go out and buy it so I can take my red-pen to ...

    Dec 12, 2008
  • Poetry » Other, General Re: My Rant About How Stephenie Meyer Annoys Me

    This was hilarious! And I must say, I totally agree with you. For me personally, The Twilight books are kind of over-rated. In the tiniest way, it almost reminded me ...

    Dec 12, 2008
  • Poetry » Dramatic, General Re: How?

    I liked this, simple, not flogged down with too many words (I hate it when people do that). I really liked how there was no real rule to the rhyme ...

    Nov 9, 2008
  • Article / Essay » Review, General Re: Brisingr (Eragon 3) Spoiler

    Ok, sure, The Inherintance series is popular and gets kids to read. I applaud that. And yes, I will probably read the last book, and yes, I will probably hate ...

    Aug 4, 2008
  • Poetry » Lyrical, General Re: Observations / The Tree

    Actually, I find what you did good strategy for starters. Write what you feel, like what you just did, pour it all out, don't worry about rhythm or whatnot. *Then* ...

    Aug 4, 2008
  • Poetry » Lyrical, General Re: Who am I?........ A positive look on myself!

    It's a good poem, not fantastic, but hey, that doesn't mean you can't make it fantastic. You told here, didn't show, which is a no-no most of the time in ...

    Aug 4, 2008
  • Poetry » Dramatic, General Re: Before I Go To Bed

    You know what this reminded me of? Nursery rhymes mom would read to me before bed and I would later memorize. And I think that's great. It's really cute and ...

    Aug 4, 2008
  • Poetry » Dramatic, General Re: lunar wombs

    Wow. That's a lot of metaphors. Usually, I'm not a fan of metaphor-loaded poems, but I really liked this. Except in some places it got a bit confusing, couldn't follow ...

    Aug 4, 2008
  • Poetry » Other, General Re: Curled Heart

    I really liked this, simple, to the point, my favorite kind. However, sometimes your rhythm got thrown off, like when you said "Of your hatred it is full. " It ...

    Aug 4, 2008
  • Poetry » Lyrical, General Re: To My Love

    I really liked this, sweet and simple, which is my favorite kind, personally. I have to agree with ta-mara though, the first stanza was a bit, plain, lacking. there's the ...

    Aug 2, 2008
  • Article / Essay » General, General Re: Of Life and Love

    First off, I thought this was really good. I liked the fire-love comparison, although you need to make it more clear that you are comparing fire to love, it could ...

    Jul 18, 2008
  • Novel / Chapter » Historical Fiction, General Re: The lost soldier 3

    I agree with Sugarbowl, you definitly put a lot into this chapter, although perhaps you could have revealed these details in an ealier chapter? I wasn't looking for mechanical errors ...

    Jul 18, 2008
  • Poetry » Narrative, General Re: The Sundress

    I thought it was really cute, I liked the theme of it, funny. But...but the rhyme scheme was going all over the place sometimes! First it rhymed, then it didn't, ...

    Jun 24, 2008


they got that magical iridescence that you don't expect to be on a sky rat y'know
— Ari11