Lyrics » Fantasy, Mystery / Suspense
Re: Frankenstein (prologue)
You should definitely continue this! I think that for a beginning of a story, this is pretty strong. I like how you let snippets of the narrator's personality come through, ...
Short Story » Dramatic, General
Re: That night
I think this story could be a lot better. You used a fairly average premise and executed it fairly averagely. There are a lot of ways you could have revved ...
Short Story » Teen Fiction, Realistic
Re: An Absence of Light [Part 1]
This was incredibly good, especially the writing. When I first started reading I was afraid I wouldn't be able to find anything that needs to be improved upon. You started ...
Other » Narrative, Fantasy
I think this could be better. It has a lot of potential, but some of the emotions fell flat. I think it wasn't as powerful as it could have been ...
Short Story » Historical Fiction, Realistic
Re: I Remember
This was a very emotional story in the best possible way. Your use of repetition "I remember" really helps the emotions along. I saw a few grammatical errors and some ...
Short Story » Romantic, Narrative
Re: s t a t i c
I really liked this. I think it was done incredibly well. However, I did find a few things that puzzled me. Two things to be exact. 1) There was some ...
Short Story » Realistic, Teen Fiction
Re: Fair Gone Wrong
I didn't find many issues with the story at all. There were some unnecessary words and phrases throughout the piece an example being at the beginning you wrote, "Children flocked ...
Short Story » General, General
Re: The Boy
The biggest grammatical error was the fact that you didn't start a new paragraph every time someone else started talking. It's really important that you do that because it makes ...
Short Story » Dramatic, Humor
Re: Imagine That (please don't jump down my throat this is my first time writing on here thank you)
Grammatically, I saw a few errors. It's and its and a few unnecessary commas. I think you got the feelings of an imaginary friend who has to leave spot on. ...
Other » Action / Adventure, Fantasy
Re: Zach's Dream Paragraph Draft (PLEASE RE WRITE in your review)
Sapphire found herself in a small dark room. She blinked a few times to get her eyes to focus, and her first thought was she was in a movie theater. ...