ink_on_fire

mm, you have a point. Thanks :)

Thanks Vernon :)

...wow. I know how this feels and this was so moving. It moved me. I didn't see anything to fix, this was really good. Damn, now I feel like crying.

Thanks for that :) I think he does talk like that now that you mention it. It'll will be easier to relate with the next chapter.

Thanks for the crit Alainna :)

I'm so sorry. I'm glad he doesn't rule your life anymore. And your confession was just wow. You have courage to put this down on paper and out into the ...

No worries :) I want to read the next bit lol.

Lol, well the show I based it off was actually called Cheaters. It was an American reality show on SBS. The episode was about this girl getting the cameras on ...

Wow, guys. Thanks for the crits. I'll touch it up :) Peace :P Inky

5 stars! Lol. This gets better and better. :D Inky

Yeh I see the lack of description but I was aiming to bring emotion and the scene across via dialogue. I left the description out on purpose. Also, the F-word...I ...

Selenasacuna, This is a great improvement. :) You have really worked on the imagery. Now for your actual storyline. Y ou could tell it was older, almost a black color. ...

Hey guy13, this is just a future reference for dialogue punctuation for your future stories. :) Keep writing and best of luck. I've kept everything the same except spelling, grammatical ...

Ah k well, fair enough. guy13, if you want I don't mind correcting dialogue, etc so the others can enjoy your work as well. Just PM :D Talk soon Inky

Thanks guys :) Well...no, I've haven't thought about publishing as yet. And the "My eyes painted walls from the insides of my world. " bit meant to show a closed ...