The following is a true to my life story.
It’s an odd feeling living with a secret you know you should tell, but one you also know will change your life if you do. I spent the last five years of my life wanting to be an alcoholic, a drug addict, a tobacco user—just to have an excuse to sit in a meeting of people I didn’t know and tell them my darkest secret. I wanted to tell them all the details of that day; how it started, how it ended, how uncliche it was. But instead I spent my energy on avoiding relationships when they started getting serious, eluding to the past but never telling anything definite, pretending to be fine for no one’s sake but mine. This kind of secret doesn’t go away with a confession, I knew this. And telling people would change their perception of me forever—I refuse to wear that stamp on my forehead the rest of my life. But, I’m here tonight to tell you: I am a victim of sexual molestation.
They cram sex education down your throat at the beginning of middle school. They tell you the basics about not going anywhere with strangers and avoiding dark alleys and to leave if you feel uncomfortable and all the things that seem like common sense, but they don’t tell you about the dangers that lurk inside the building they teach you from. You don’t expect it, but then again…can anything really be ‘expected?’ They don’t tell you that it could be your best friend or your boyfriend or both at the same time when you are in high school: “All dangers lurk outside in the real world” is what they seem to claim.
When I was fifteen years old I thought I was just the sweetest thing to walk this earth. I was on the junior varsity and varsity volleyball team as a sophomore, I had straight A’s, I was dating a gorgeous senior and my life was just perfect—until I met Ray. Ray was my boyfriend’s best friend. He was a senior as well, but not the typical ‘hottie’ we all seemed to go after. He spent a lot of time playing video games and was rather overweight, but he always seemed like a nice guy to us.
We all three had a class together with only two other people who were always roaming and the teacher was rarely in the room. Why did she need to be? Our school was safe. We all sat at the same table—my boyfriend, Ray, and me. I remember this day like it happened yesterday, it replayed in my head for months. I had a skirt on that day, a jean skirt with frayed lining (it was all the rage then). I had a white tank top on with wide shoulder straps (we weren’t allow to wear thin ones) and a pair of Adidas sandals. Ray was sitting between my boyfriend and I, and he was messing around with me a bit. We were both on a computer, both on AOL instant messenger. He started tickling my leg and I’d giggle each time—I was a typical fifteen year old. But, each time he’d put his hand higher and higher up my leg. I don’t know why I didn’t stop, but I just kept giggling until it became a problem. Suddenly, Ray’s hand made a giant jump up my skirt instead of tickling my leg.
I remember saying specifically “get off of me!” in the classroom; it was so quiet. But he didn’t, it only got worse and with my boyfriend right there he molested me in my school in a classroom in broad daylight. My boyfriend did nothing, everything I had believed him to be ended right then and there. It didn’t last too long, the teacher came back in—she didn’t even question the situation and I've always kind of held that against her. Maybe if she had, this secret wouldn’t have stayed with me so long. I’ve heard all the commercials and all the slogans that say “it’s never your fault,” and until that point in time I never understood why victims felt like it was. But for the life of me I cannot help but feel somewhat responsible for egging him on—for asking for it.
That was the last bell of the day, and when school ended I met up with an older friend of mine on the way out the door. I told her what happened. She laughed. For three years she was the only person who knew and she never, ever brought it up with me or with anyone else that I know of. She was on the volleyball team with me, and even that day as we headed to practice she acted like when I spoke it was in a foreign language that she didn’t understand, like I never said a word to her. I don’t know what I would have done in her situation, and the fact that I told her was merely a timing circumstance—but I couldn’t bear to tell someone else and have someone else act the way she did.
Later that night the messages started pouring in from Ray. He begged me and begged me not to tell anyone, “I’m not usually like that” he claimed. Over and over again he apologized, making me say I wouldn’t tell anyone about it. And I followed his orders because by the events of the day he had suddenly taken over my life and would continue to do so even when he was no longer there. Ray and I did not speak again after that night, and my boyfriend and I broke up shortly after my conversation with Ray, and I buried my secrets so far within me that it ate at every little cell in my body every day.
By the end of the year Ray was gone, but he did not stop haunting me. In my senior year I finally told one of my friends a short version of what had happened—I just blurted it out to her one day in our math class. I don’t know if she took me seriously, but this time I didn’t care, I just wanted it out of me. By the end of the year I had told two more friends and a teacher about it in secret, but none of them ever wanted to talk about it. Now I had gotten it out, I stamped myself molested, but wasn’t allowed the chance to tell my side of the story. I found my refuge in internet sites that had confessionals or had resources for victims of sexual abuse. I bought books that I thought would help me understand why I was feeling the way I was. Knowledge was power, and I needed power. I found a special release within my writing, often planning storylines around rape and abuse but always stopping before I had to write out the scene of betrayal. Just knowing that maybe there were other people like my characters in the world with the same secret made it almost seem bearable.
When I went to college no one knew my secret. No one questioned my life, no one wanted to know more, no one would have cared had I told them. It was and is normally easy to suppress these days, but the more and more I confront it the easier it becomes to overcome. My family still knows nothing of this event, other than one of my sisters who had a similar experience in high school—even she doesn’t talk about it, and the moment I told her we shared nothing but a silent understanding of the way our lives intertwined in a new and undeserving way. Those four people I mentioned before were the only ones to know until this very moment sitting here, writing my deepest secret out to all of you.
I saw Ray some years later at my work. He came up to me and talked for a minute. I guess he couldn’t see that all I wanted to do was scream for security to get this molester out of the store (the same store where I had been cornered in a private office by another man). I have heard in recent years that he has become an active member in his church, even plays in the band. I have hated him for this; I never really understood why he thought God would want him there after what he did. I suppose maybe he felt guilty and that was a place to turn, or maybe he needed people to support him—I wonder if they know his deepest secret.
It doesn’t show much anymore, only in the fact that I am nearly unable to be close to any man without the scene from that day flashing right before my eyes. After that day every man in my life became a predator, it didn’t matter who he was or what he was or how helpful or kind he had been to me. I have no idea why I decided to write this, but when I did I needed to do it then and there. It’s two o’clock in the morning and I am here at my keyboard, trying to release what I have been unable to let go of all these years. I do feel a bit odd telling my secret, like a piece of my soul is being ripped out of me and violently thrown over these sheets of paper—open and vulnerable for the world to view. My heart is beating very quickly; I hope it can withstand sending a piece of itself off into the world. But, as I sat here I promised to declare to myself and the rest of the world one thing:
Ray *insert last name here, he should still be protected* will never, ever rule my life again.
1 in 6 women will experience some form of sexual abuse in their lifetime. Surprised?
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140,852 Literary Works • 673,694 Reviews
Wow. What can I say? There's nothing to say except....I'm sorry. I am so sorry that you had to go through this. It's not right at all, and NO ONE should ever have to deal with this fear and pain.
I admire you so much for having the courage to put this "out there" for others to see. Thank you so much for posting.
((HUGS)) to you!
Thank you for sharing this and I'm sorry that this ever happened to you.
You have my sympathies and you are extremely brave to write this.
Amazing job, might I add.
-Rena.
Wow, that's horrible.
You have my sympathies and you're very courageous.
I have goosebumps.
You're my hero for having the courage to write down step by step how it happened, and admitting the parts that I know make you feel undeserved shame.
Many times I've begun a personal narrative that would be the twin of yours, but I can't make it passed the first paragraph. My molester is still with me today. He's family. And, I will forever be afraid to let that secret go.
You are strong, you are worth it, and you have NOTHING to be ashamed of. We are not to blame, I promise.
Good luck, and if you need someone to talk to, PM me.
RedSmiles
This is a terribly sad story and although i have never experienced this first hand, i still feel terrible. It's also amazing how you were able to tell such a inner powerful story and still manage to edit this and make it a very good piece of writing. Although i don't believe in taking the law into ones own hands, I personally would have done everything i could to get this boy locked up for rape and you still not saying his name and protecting him is an incredibly strong thing to do. Being a boy, i know that there is absolutely no excuse for what someone like this could have done and unfortunately, things like this and more minor situations have happened all of the time. The media has turned famous girls into meat for boys, and some boys into meat for girls. Also, I am certain that video games desensitize people because of all of the killing. this needs to stop as well. Finally, once again Thank you for sharing this story with people, and I promise that you did the right thing. It's fantastic that you were almost able to recover and you are able to live such a healthy life.
Mr.Spaceman
I know you're probably tired of peope having pity for you, but I am so sorry this happened to you and your sister. This should never happen to anybody and no one should ever wish it upon somebody either. I do not understand how there are sick people in this country that'll do this children, teenagers, women, or any humanbeing. This has touched me so much. Thank you for giving me more precaution In a more realistic way. I'm pretty sure others feel the same.
This was really horrific, especially now no one said anything about it-- I hope you have better friends now. If this happened to my friend I know I would have been more supportive. I'm so sorry this happened to you, as everyone else is, and it's terrible. I can relate, too. The same thing happened with my uncle for a period of years, to me and a lot of other girls in my family. There's a portion of family members who won't speak to my uncle, now. But nothing else has been done about it-- it sucks. I'm so sorry for you, but I'm glad you were brave enough to post this. It made me brave enough to respond.
Hey Via
First of all I want to say that I think that you're super brave for posting this and that I know what you feel. Only my experience goes around with my uncle when I was 12 years old. I've never been the same since that. I feel like I cant have anything serious with any guy no matter how sweet he is. Also, I've been sexually harassed by my ex-boyfriend for the last three years.
~Cy
I'm so sorry. As you've probably read in the posts above, this never deserved to happen to you.
Ray should go burn in hell for what he did to you. Sometimes people don't know their boundaries, but they still should never do that. Your friend on the volleyball team was wrong not to acknowledge what happened to you. If you ever need anybody to talk to, I'm here. One thing you should do though is, don't let this situation control your life. Don't live in the past. If you aren't that's really awesome. But if you are, then you need to move on. What happened to you should make you stronger, not to make you more afraid of men, and relationships to come. There are people in this world, who would never in their wildest dreams would want to do that to you. Move on. Don't let what happened to you define you. Hope I helped
Oh my God... Honey, that took so much strength to write on your part AND it was beautifully written. I won't lie, your story moved me to tears while I was reading it... It brought up a painful memory of my own past, too. I was molested twice by two different strangers- the first time was when I was eight, by a waiter in a restaurant where my whole family were celebrating. I second was at a party when I was thirteen, when a total douche in the year above cornered me and felt me up in a way he never should have done.
The anxiety and the shame I felt on both occasions- that I partially felt I had brought this on myself- sometimes haunt me today. But thanks to your liberating confession, I now feel I'm not alone. You've proved that what doesn't defeat you only turns you into a stronger woman.
I thank you for that. Bless you, Via. Keep strong- your message has made another victim feel more at peace again =*) xoxo
Via, that is terrible. I'm so sorry you had to go through that. Congratulations on being brave enough to write it out; I hope it brought you comfort or clarity in some way.
What Ray and your ex-boyfriend did was a wrong and terrible thing to do. It sickens me to think about how that happens every day to 1/6 of women. That's just... Ugh.
And as to the remark to this story being "cliche", all I can say is... Wow.
Stay strong, darling!
Via, this was one of the most emotional pieces that I have ever read. It looked like it was difficult for you to put it up here. Beautifully written, in a simple and straightforward style, and it was packed full of raw emotion.
I must say that I've never experienced a case of sexual abuse, nor do I know anyone who has. But this made me feel like I was there, watching everything. It was just so clearly written that I had almost started to cry. And I never cry unless it is very tragic, such as Bambi, or Where the Red Fern Grows, or the like. Thanks for sharing this, Via. True courage is being afraid, but still standing up.
I applaud your courage for sharing your soul with the world.
I was in a horrible situation, involving a brother. I was about ten. It wasn't forced, I was just young and innocent and got pulled into a sick situation that lasted for many years. I never told anyone, even my first counselor who worked with me for 4 years in college. I finally told him the last day of school, when I felt like I was about to explode. from keeping the secret locked inside. My brother still thinks he did nothing wrong.
I agree with unicorn hunter. When I met the guy I ended up marrying, I told him about what had happened to me. He didn't run. He really helped me work through things more than anyone else ever did, including the counselors I talked to. Don't let what a few guys did to you keep you from what some day may be the man who will help you heal.
The memories still linger, and color how I see life, (which really stinks sometimes). But the pain has mostly subsided, and I can handle it now.
Oh my God. I am so sorry that this happened to you; and yes, I know that sorry can't heal the scars, but it feels like the right thing to say. I'm bawling my eyes out now, and all I want to do is hide in a closet for the rest of my life and never set eyes on another man for as long as I live. I respect and admire the courage it must have taken to post this on here.
I can't critique this. It's too powerful.
He did not just say that! It's non-fiction! It's not cliche! Adam, you didn't even capitalize "I'm" so... yeah, your comment doesn't look all that intelligent.
Via, you are so brave.
I can't imagine going through that. It must of been a hard memoir to write.
I'm sure that by posting this you helped out a lot of people.
You're amazing,
Sakura
First let me say i'm terribly sorry for happen to you.
Good story, but a tad cliche.
Thanks for posting this, Via, or I never would realise how many people share the same kind of experience.
Once when I was 8, and once when I was 12. After each time, I felt branded. Dirty. Its brave of you to post this. If you didn't, nobody would dare to say anything.
Uh..
I could not even imagine writing that, or going through that
Abuse confessionals always make guys feel like it is their fault..
Like it's something against guys.
Dream
That is the key to it.
This is something that only you can make go away.
No one can be there to help you get rid of it.
I've tried.
I had a dream several weeks ago.
I was with my friends at Six Flags: Great Adventure.
My friends chickened out and wouldn't go on the rides with me. Thus, I had to go on by myself.
Suddenly, I came into a bank waiting room. There, was my molester. he started chasing me. I ran into my bedroom and locked the door.
You'll need symbolism to help you through it.
My molester lives around the corner. It is surely scary and I can feel some of the emotions you are receiving.
If you need some advice or anything, Pm me.
12 year old
SaraRose
That is terrible that it happened to you. It has to take a lot of guts to post it up here and say it to people. I do hope things get better, no one should ever have to deal with that. It isn't right, and it seems as though the statistic would be higher than 1 in 6. But maybe that is just me, defending girls, and some guys.
I feel for you, I really do.
I can't really say anymore about this, except that I'm really glad that you have released your secret.
I'm sorry that happened to you. It was very brave of you to post it up here! It's always good to vent. I was molested too.
I was at my grandma's house and they were having a party. I was sick though, so I stayed in my favorite couscin's bedroom. My other cousin watched me and was trying to get me to pay attention to him. I turned myself the other way.
Then, suddenly he goes on top of me and starts molesting me. I told my mom after, but I never got over it and I don't think I ever will.
You are very brave for posting that! I haven't told anyone really, but some people know so I don't have things inside me I have to let out.
-Krisy
I can't beleive that happened like!
And I am so so sorry. I pray that it will get better for you.
I really admire you for putting this story up here.
I'm so so sorry for what happened to you- there's no way I can even begin to understand what it must have been like. It's so awful that things like this have such far-reaching repercussions and no-one should ever have to go through what you have.
Stories like yours are such an eye-opener to things that really do happen in the world and I think it's so important that voices like yours get heard because these situations aren't ever something that should be ignored or forgotten.
I really do hope that you're able to get past this, you don't deserve to have to live with something like this. And Ray will get what he deserves in the end- they always do.
Sofi.
You are so brave to have put this up on here - Ray is so evil - but always remember he's to blame. Most people, like you said, in these situations end up blaming themselves which makes this stuff worse than it already is and makes the impact even more devestating. your friend shouldn't have laughed - but on the other hand it is quite an awkward thing to talk about - if only people were more open about sexual harassment then maybe we could deal with these problems in better ways than we do now. You were right to share this story with us even if you felt you couldn't be open about it with people you know - any problem shared is a sigh of relief.
I'm honoured that you felt you could share that with us and you are truly someone to look up to in life.
WOW! its the best piece of writing in my opinion. Hats off to you for using this amazing platform that thewebsite has given to you! Via you need to forget your your past for which you have already taken the first step by writing your story! This writing definetely does not need to be edited because it has your deepest emotions and emotions can never be changed! Best of luck in all your future endeavours!
My friend and her friend were raped when they were four years old. Now my friend treats men with every ounce of respect I think that you ahd the right to post it here because i can't blame you. a sexual assault can change a girl drastically
I'm sorry. Truly, deeply sorry for what you went through.
However, this was a deep, beautiful, moving piece full of emotion.
If it was horrible, I wouldn't be posting this because I would consider myself heartless to say.
But this piece was just...wow...
I applaud you for being so courageous as to post this.
Excellent, sad, but excellent.
-GC10
As another victim of sexual abuse, I am very, very sorry for your experience. Sexual abuse is an ugly thing, and can leave scars that are far too often permanent.
That being said, I want to thank you for sharing your experience in such a well-written way. I understand that it must have taken a lot of courage and patience, and I hope that you continue to not only work on this piece, but to put it out there for other women (and men) to read and experience for themselves.
I think that by reading the other comments this piece has inspired, you can see how effective your writing style is. You've got a board full of people wanting to hunt this guy down and lock him up!
I'm sorry again for your experience, and thank you for sharing your piece.
~~
Ohhh that's awful. I'm sorry.
I deeply respect you for feeling able to share this to be honest.
It sounds almost callous to start talking about the quality of your writing after that, but, that was absolutely beautifully written. Very moving.
I am deeply sorry. You are amazingly brave for putting this out there; I hope it helped you to share it.
It wouldn't feel right to critique this even if it had been poorly written, but it was very well-done. Simple and honest and raw and heartbreaking. I admire you both for your courage in telling this story and your ability to tell it so eloquently.
I am so sorry. That was an incredibly sad, poignant and thought-provoking piece of writing. I'm ashamed on behalf of my entire gender. On of the most moving things that I have ever read. I cannot find anything to fault in it. You are extremely brave, and I applaud you.
I would not feel in the least bit right about critiquing this. Thank you for posting it - I truly think that some girls have had things like this happen and they think it's no big deal, that they overreacted. That's not true. Sexual harrassment is sexual harrassment.
Your story is so similar to mine that it's almost frightening. The difference for me was that I was raised by a very strong, stubborn single mother who taught my how to defend myself. I don't think Chris expected me to turn into a tiger the second his hand started inching up my leg. I think I was fourteen.
I'm so sorry, Via, and I'm so glad you shared this.
Via, you speak words of true wisdom. I am glad you have been able to take the step to tell your story, especially to us artists, people who understand more than anyone else in the world. I know exactly how it is to be in that sort of a situation. I especially connected with what you said about later relationships being ruined because of it. This is one of the many ghosts that haunt me as well. Stay strong and keep writing. Art is the best therapy.
I cried. I actually cried. I am so sorry that this had to happen to you. But I understand what you're feeling too. (And no, I'm not just saying that.)
A few months ago, I was going out with my boyfriend. (Ex-boyfriend now.) He was a few years older than me, but that's expected with girls, right? Anyways, we were at my cabin. We went down to the beach. It was dark. I thought he was being "romantic" but what do I know? I'm only 14.
He started kissing me. I went along with it, seeing how it was one of my few make out sessions ever to exist. We had clothes over top of our bathing suits, and he started to take off his own. I assumed we were going swimming, oviously we weren't. I wasn't undressed, but he was. He started groping me and undressing me. At first I wasn't worried, but then I got scared and nervous.
He kept touching me and when I tried to get away, he hit me. He told me that it wouldn't hurt, but I refused to do anything out in public. He hit me and threatened me, and tried, but I kicked and screamed until I got away.
I've never seen him again.
Sorry about that, but I had to get it out.
You just inspired me to say something, although not many will read and/or comment it, I don't care. You did a great thing, telling people what happened. And I'm so sorry that it had to happen to you.
You wrote that so well, it felt like I was actually there with you. I felt your pain through the writing and I congratulate you on that accomplishment. Although it's a terrible thing, I'm glad you wrote it all out. That shows strength that you could tell someone that, even if you don't know us personally.
I am so sorry that this happened to you. Ray was a horrible person to have done that. My friend said that he suffered some sexual abuse at school also. I feel kind of bad that I couldn't really help him more but, I did my best to make him feel better. Yeah, he was a guy. Some homosexuals commited misconduct aginst him. Although, he wasn't a homosexual himself. I think if this shall ever happend agian and let's pray that it doesn't you should report it to the police. Anyway, my friend said that he was sexualy harassed two time at school. I think some people are too stupid to realize that they could be arrested for what they are doing. I recall once at highschool a guy grabed me by the chest. I should have reported him and a girl put her hand my my thigh and asked me if I wanted *** I could tell that she was joking but that's still concidered harassment. I feel funny speaking about that because I feel if that happened to most guys that they would go into the bathroom with her and have you know what. It's sad that there's so much evil out there. And, these really did happened to me. Anyway, I hope you feel better now but that should never happen to anyone and I'm deeply sorry that it did.
Oh Via. You poor thing. I read this about a week ago, but it upset me too much for me to comment. Now, I'm not going to re-read it as it will just upset me again, and I won't be able to articulate my reaction properly, so I'm going to comment from memory.
I thought this was a powerful and moving piece, beautifully written. You conveyed the emotions so well. It really was very heart-wrenching. It's just such an honest piece and the beginning and ending especially are really effective.
I'm so sorry that this happend to you. It's hard to comment on something as personal as this, so I'll finish by saying that it really is an achievement to write about about something so painful in such an honest and moving manner, while still managing to warn people that sexual abuse is far more common than many people realize. It's a very powerful piece.
Jas
Yuck sexual abuse..it's horrible stuff. It's why I was homeschooled, though my experience wasn't as bad as yours, mostly just verbal stuff. But it scared the crap out of me, and I felt ashamed to tell my parents, almost emberassed, because I felt like it was my fault. I thought this piece was well written and portrayed and instilled the exact feelings that people who have gone through this kind of stuff go through, on any level. And it is not a pretty subject to write about because no one likes to talk about it or think about it, so you did a very nice job. I'm not really sure how to review this beyond that because you wrote about a personal experience and you can't really change what happened or how it made you feel so I can't tell you to change anything. I applaud the fact that you came out and talked about this, that was very brave. He'll get what he deserves in the end, they all do..well anyways good job, keep writing.
It must have taken so much courage to write this and put it somewhere where anyone can read it.I'm sorry this happened to you,it should never happen but it does every day...and often no one even knows its happened.Id really like to lock Ray and your boyfriend up in Federal Prison or somthing this post actully made me cry its hard to make me cry but you did.Ive been molested before,by my great uncle hes dead now but I can almost guarantee he didnt go to heaven.
Greatest Respect
freewriter
Actually, something similar happened to me.
My best friend, Julie, and her boyfriend were at my house, and Julie had to go to the bathroom. Kieran (J's bf), inched closer to me--we were on a couch-- and he stuck his hand up my shirt, and his other hand tried to go down my pants, but Julie came in just as I was slapping him away, and she and I started yelling at him, and we chased him out of the house. when he was gone, she gave me a hug and told me that Kieran was a huge jerk, and it wasn't my fault, and that she was so sorry for bringing him, etc.
I just wanted to say that that was 3 months ago, and I still have nightmares about what might have happened had Julie not stepped into the room at that very moment.
You're not alone.
-LBR
It's hard to put what I felt after reading this into words. I felt sad for you but was basically in awe that you wanted to share this side of you with us and how it seems like you just forgave this guy.. I have to say, I'm kind of annoyed with your friend who laughed at it and the teacher who didn't want to talk about it, though. :/
Okay, as your your writing...I'm going to have to agree with JFW1415. This isn't something that should be edited. It's perfect the way it is.
That is so sad. I hate molesters and rapists and all of those kind of people the most! I'd never be able to put my story on here. I admire you for that, and for forgiving Ray, which is very Christianly of you and I respect that. I definitely plan to be a virgin until I'm married and just pull away from people that would think about doing that. Your story is inspirational and I LOOOOOOVE it!!! It's so sad and heart-warming at the same time! 0(o.o)0
well. just goes to show: there's always someone who has it worse than you do.
i don't have any experience in this department (fortunately!), but perhaps if you told a guy, it would make a relationship with him easier. he would be able to at least have some small understanding of what you went through, and wouldn't blame you if you freaked out once in a while.
forgiveness is important, too. if you forgive Ray (and i really can speak from past experience), it will make it easier. no need to tell him that he's forgiven, though.
hope my Life Advice wasn't annoying!
I'm so sorry. I'm glad he doesn't rule your life anymore. And your confession was just wow. You have courage to put this down on paper and out into the world.
I want to give you a hug.
*hug*
Inky
wow, I am so sorry. It must take so much courage to write this. I wish you all the best and hope that things only get better and easier for you in the future.
stay strong, sister!
I think you're very, very brave to put this up here, to be able to let people read it. The way you wrote it was perfect; not self-pitying, not embellishing, just simple.
Wow, this was, wow.
I kind of almost started crying over that.
The sad thing is, I think it's more than one in six. It's the fact in high school and middle school, the "sexual abuse" is viewed as a typical flirting style. It's viewed as all fun and games.
It's not.
It stays with you long after it actually happens, and no one seems to help you. They think "oh, well they were just playing around" but the truth is, they aren't.
They prey on the younger students, the ones that basically worship the ground they walk on. When the students realize that they are just using them, It's too late.
Sometimes the abuse is physically forced, but sometimes It's pressure.
And when it's done, they often blame the abused, that they lead them on when the whole time it was the abused that was lead on.
It's horrible, and it makes me sick.
You're basically out on the lake without a paddle, and if you try to report them, people will just think your over reacting.
There's not much you can do.
Wow. I was blown away. What Ray did was NOT right! And with your boyfriend right there! This is really one of the most shocking confessions I've ever read.
Wow, Via, that's really quite a confession. It's a terrible thing to have happened. I'm glad that you feel comfortable enough to share it with us, and really, getting it out in the open is part of the healing process.
*hugs*
I've had personal experience with this, and I can say that it really does help to get it out: written and otherwise. I am still in a little shock at how, when you voiced what had happened, you were treated. I agree with Snoink, things like this should never happen, and yet they do.
I think the only thing productive that comes out of situations like these, not that they should ever happen to anyone, is resilience. That we are no longer crippled by what happens in childhood/adolescence, but it helps us overcome and survive, positive behavioral adaptation.
Cal.
I'm so sorry. This sort of stuff should never happen, yet it does. But you aren't alone. Really. I had a similar thing happen to me at work with another guy, and I'm still trying to get over it. Except nobody laughed at me. I can't imagine what that would be like.
Wow...I really don't know what to say to this. I'm just so sorry; no one should EVER have to go through stuff like that.
I always figured you were some amazing writer with a normal past. Just goes to show what you never know about people...
*Grabs flames and pitchforks and hunts Ray down*
That man is awful.
I hope writing this helped make this a little easier for you. I wrote a letter (without sending it) to my father, and it helped a LOT. Writing really does give you power, huh? It makes things a little more barable, and helps you sort things out.
*Gives virtual hug*
(Oh, and by the way, the writing was wonderful. I didn't look for any grammar errors or anything, though; it's not really a piece that should be edited. It's raw emotion, and it's great.)
~JFW1415