hi-mi-tsu

Well, I still like it. XD But the ending feels better to me now.

Wow. This is beautiful. I can't find anything wrong with it.

I can't...quite...decide whether or not I like this. It's well-written, though, and I think the profanity fits.

Thanks!! This was my first experiment with combined words. I'm glad you like it.

I think it might have been more the fact that it felt like you were reaching to find something that rhymed than the actual word itself that bothered me. It ...

The capitalization of each word makes the poem feel very jerky to me, as if there isn't really a rhythm at all. It was a nice concept, buut it needs ...

For me, the tune to this song is something that's very hard to create. I keep switching back and forth between emotive instruments. And should it be low, or high, ...

Nice. I can't help but feel like the expletive took away from the imagery, though. Overall, however, this is a very good piece.

I really love this. Since I do essay revisionism A LOT, it makes perfect sense XD. I like the edit better, it seems a lot clearer and more...dare I say ...

The lack of capitals kinda deterred from the whole poem. It was all right, I suppose...just didn't really do anything for me.

Wow. That was...fascinatingly random and nonsensical. A rather pleasant deviation from serious poetry.

thanks for the comments. It's very difficult for me to see the weaknesses in my work, as a lot of it is somewhat (or almost all) based on strong emotions ...

I like this. I like the parenthetical references, it makes it sound really awesome. This is supurb.

I liked the piece, but I agree with filmcanister in that there has to be some logic to your strung-together words. Otherwise it looks like they were forced or randomly ...