hekategirl

This is a pretty good poem, but alot of the rhymes seemed forced to me, and at the end where you say: So how do you feel, breaking his innocent ...

I think you ment this to be in the "Lyrics" forum, not "Lyric Poetry". Maybe a mod can move this? I've never really critqued Lyrics before but just one thing: ...

Oh, so sad... :cry: I don't how to respond to this, it could use work (But I don't think it is the type of story you work on) but it ...

This is nice! a very nice first attempt! (God, I can remember my first poem, *twitch* lets not go there...) Although I agree with KayJuran about the "Watching back at ...

I'm not much of a haiku critique but I didn't really like this. Let's break it down: The sun shines now. How about "The Sun is Shin-ing"? Inside it is ...

Ah, yes, this poem was very refreshing. I've read alot of ryhming poems lately but yours is the only one that really flows. Except the last stanza, I think "Weakessess" ...

^What Reichieru said, and I also like the drowning metaphor...very nice :D but you know it is just a rant, it needs ryhtem, flow...stuff like that. But I still like ...

I really like this, it started it out so-so but it ended up great. The last stanza is my favorite. Although: Dance, american girl, dance on the crazy beat. When ...

I really like this, it was beautifully written. Although there were numerous spelling mistakes (Probably just typ-os). Remember the spell check is your friend! And also, through out this prologue ...

This is awesome Snoink, one word for it: Beautiful. It is so hard to write an autobiography (Which is what this is right?) I've tried, but you've pulled it off ...

This is a good poem, although the rhyme for last line for every stanza seemed forced to me. The lines were too long. And the third line of the third ...

Well, I don't think the first and second part really connected very well. “Click” the lock sounds, and I breathe a sigh of relief. What if he’s serious? What if ...

I LOVE this. This is awsome. Just some nitpicks though: mirrors in this hallway You say that two times, a little too close together. When I read it the second ...

I like this poem, but it needs some tweaks. Mesh, pretty much covered them though. I just want to say: A stomach that is the very Way to his heart ...

This poem was really so-so. The subject was really cliche, but that doesn't mean you can't write about it. It just means you have to find your own unique aspect ...