It seemed like a poorly done rant to me. Drop the rhyme and always think super-hard before calling comeone a bitch in a poem (or anywhere)...it's very, very juvenile.
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This sickening secret is too much to take
Every time I'm around him, I am acting fake.
You've lied and cheated, and unfairly involved me
But this situation has really enabled me to see
What a manipulator you really are
Drinking, flirting with strange men at the bar,
Claiming to be 'committed' to your one and only love
But here I see your real side, and enough is enough.
I'm sick of all the mind games you are always playing
And now i don't believe a single word you're saying.
No more, I gave you a chance to be true
And no longer am I covering for you.
So how do you feel, breaking his innocent heart
But at least he is better off, while you two are apart.
It seemed like a poorly done rant to me. Drop the rhyme and always think super-hard before calling comeone a bitch in a poem (or anywhere)...it's very, very juvenile.
i agree that the rhymes seem forced. some problem rhythm places:
Every time I'm around him, I am acting fake.
This is a pretty good poem, but alot of the rhymes seemed forced to me, and at the end where you say:
So how do you feel, breaking his innocent heart
But at least he is better off, while you two are apart.
Points: 890
Reviews: 91
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