z

Young Writers Society



The manipulator

by Angel17


This sickening secret is too much to take
Every time I'm around him, I am acting fake.
You've lied and cheated, and unfairly involved me
But this situation has really enabled me to see
What a manipulator you really are
Drinking, flirting with strange men at the bar,
Claiming to be 'committed' to your one and only love
But here I see your real side, and enough is enough.
I'm sick of all the mind games you are always playing
And now i don't believe a single word you're saying.
No more, I gave you a chance to be true
And no longer am I covering for you.
So how do you feel, breaking his innocent heart
But at least he is better off, while you two are apart.


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91 Reviews


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Fri Mar 17, 2006 3:07 pm
ZanyPlebeian says...



It seemed like a poorly done rant to me. Drop the rhyme and always think super-hard before calling comeone a bitch in a poem (or anywhere)...it's very, very juvenile.




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Fri Mar 17, 2006 2:55 am
xanthan gum says...



i agree that the rhymes seem forced. some problem rhythm places:

Every time I'm around him, I am acting fake.


every time i'm around him, I'm acting a fake?

i don't know. perhaps i'm too passive.




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Thu Mar 16, 2006 9:11 pm
hekategirl wrote a review...



This is a pretty good poem, but alot of the rhymes seemed forced to me, and at the end where you say:

So how do you feel, breaking his innocent heart
But at least he is better off, while you two are apart.


:? I'm confused, when I read this poem I think you are talking about a man who is the "Manipulator" but then you say the above, and I'm not sure anymore...so that left me really confused.

This poem is so-so, but with a little work on the flow, and the rhyme, it good be really good! Keep at it!





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