This sickening secret is too much to take
Every time I'm around him, I am acting fake.
You've lied and cheated, and unfairly involved me
But this situation has really enabled me to see
What a manipulator you really are
Drinking, flirting with strange men at the bar,
Claiming to be 'committed' to your one and only love
But here I see your real side, and enough is enough.
I'm sick of all the mind games you are always playing
And now i don't believe a single word you're saying.
No more, I gave you a chance to be true
And no longer am I covering for you.
So how do you feel, breaking his innocent heart
But at least he is better off, while you two are apart.
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
Are you sure you want to delete this comment? This cannot be undone.
Mark this comment as a review? Points will be awarded to the poster.
Your comment was posted, but it wasn’t long enough to count as a review. Reviews need about four complete sentences (at least 250 characters). Try writing another review that explains your thoughts in more detail — the author will appreciate it, and you’ll earn points for it.
125,008 Literary Works • 672,830 Reviews
It seemed like a poorly done rant to me. Drop the rhyme and always think super-hard before calling comeone a bitch in a poem (or anywhere)...it's very, very juvenile.
i agree that the rhymes seem forced. some problem rhythm places:
every time i'm around him, I'm acting a fake?
i don't know. perhaps i'm too passive.
This is a pretty good poem, but alot of the rhymes seemed forced to me, and at the end where you say:
This poem is so-so, but with a little work on the flow, and the rhyme, it good be really good! Keep at it!