empressoftheuniverse

I didn't know you wrote poetry, Snoink. :) If the point of this poem was to make me feel a) terrified, b) violent and c) violently terrified, you did the ...

Not exactly sure what's going on here... I would recommend against putting words in all caps, and bolding them, and underlining them. If we didn't catch it without those things, ...

I agree with those nitpicks above. Normally I'm a fan of the most abstract writing and show, not tell but this definitely worked, in my opinion. Not much else to ...

*stars* wow, there are a lot of reviews on this. I have to say I agree with other people above, however-- I don;t think this is pretentious, but it does ...

I love your poetry, MO. But I don't really get this piece. When it starts off I hear endless table and boring eyes, and I think it's some kind of ...

I agree with june here-- that stanza is in an odd place; it jars the rest of the poem he dances behind her mother, twirling through the grocery store, as ...

Wow, that was good. I really loved the last lines and i hear you say you've become an artist when really i just watched you fill yourself in with cement. ...

By falling in love with a Jew. This lines strikes me as unintentionally funny.I know you're trying to make it a holocaust poem, but try something else here, still having ...

I like the short-ness of your poetry. Sometimes I read poetry where I'm sure whole stanzas could be eliminated-- but this is great stuff. What God made is beautiful, but ...

I hate to sound like a critiquer, but these fair people were just doing their duty as yws members. If you didn't write it for us, don't post it for ...

About the whole stanza thing; I encountered this too. When you post this, look at the bottom where the tap options is, under the body of your poem and there ...

We, friends, are one true heart. It sounds like your addressing us, the audience when you say this line, which I don't think was your intention. But it works really ...

... .... ....... I really liked it. :wink: It doesn't feel like a poem in terms of structure, grammatical correctness and such but It was violent with emotion. A lot ...

Stained like ink in the sea I've seen "stained metaphors that were utilized to great effect. However, this was not one of them. Ink in the sea just sounds odd. ...

Wow. That was a beautiful poem; great use of imagery. I love this poem, and though It's obviously about God it doesn't come off sounding preachy; but more like a ...