electricbluemonkey

Death by over-exposition of adjectives. You don't see that on CSI. And however tempting it is to leave this post to a sole two lines of text, I must actually ...

This is great. Short but sweet. I like how you say things without really saying (no clue how to explain that). I'm not too fond of the ending though, it's ...

I was digging though your portfolio and found this piece, with virtually no replies. I think it would work better as flash fiction or prose. Also, the title fits well ...

I'm not sure that repeating 'insanity' in the first stanza helps as much as detracts you from making a point. It sounded like a (mediocre) contemporary heavy metal song. I'm ...

these filthy sidewalks are starchy backbones pretending blinding spinal columns to walk and spit on. gracing ground for parasites. we’re barely sightless [parasiteless] Alright, let me just say that

You love me so. Why do they choke you so? Either you're stuck in the 1500's or John Lennon rose up from his grave and wrote this poem for you. ...

Sounds like an overcliched Hilary Duff song if you ask me (which isn't good). The first three stanzas were very bleak and didn't sound too emotional. From the fourth stanza ...

This is a poem. It seems to me like it's just random ramblings that could be written in less than five minutes. Next time, leave the font color black if ...

What annoyed me somewhat was the punctuation. Either use it right, or don't use it at all. I know poetry doesn't have any rules and all, but the bad punctuation ...

Ah, teenage love. What a beautiful thing. But the poem was just...ahh, eww. Too many adjectives. But don't let it go to waste. Show it to her. If she's a ...

The title and the whole premise seemed kind of...corny, for a lack of a better word. The rhyming was generic and didn't follow a stable pattern. If you have a ...

Yeah, great poem. The flow/rhythm is good, as said above. The rhyming...ah, I don't know. Some rhyming parts just seem awkward. Neon brings, “A deadly bite” Why is there a ...

As much as like using the three periods...I really don't think the last sentence works well with them. It actually sounds pretty corny. Also, it would sound better if you ...

This was good, although I'm a little confused about 'he' and 'her'. Are you talking about people in particular, or everyone? I also didn't like the 'everything' and 'anything' being ...

I edited the title, since the rating system doesn't seem to be working. Anyways, of everything I've read by you, this wasn't your best. Not even close. The premise and ...