dogs

"that marked the football field apart" Apart from what? What's next to the football field? I like the imagery you used about the bee's and clovers and flowers clawing their ...

"but even I wondered if I would live for the next day" I think you have a wonderful start to this piece. Although I understand what you're trying to say ...

Hey there Skull! Dogs here with your review today. Ok, to start I like the idea of this piece, although I'm not sure about the plot line because there wasn't ...

"I publish and write, when I can and..." Don't put a comma here. "spell my own name, yet alone type a freaking story, I'm..." Put a period after "story" and ...

Hello there Hem! Dogs here with your review today. Ok so this is a good piece, as per usual, you have a great idea going on here and certainly some ...

Hello there Artic Monkey! Dogs here with your review today. Ok you have an intresting piece here, good writing topic and for the most part your writing style is generally ...

"hands and knees on the way. But she didn't care" Ok you have way too many fragment sentences here. Certainly they can be used effectively but when it gets to ...

"had to carry his cross..." Unless from where this character came from there were only boys. This line should be: "had to carry their cross..." I like your second paragraph, ...

Hello there Boo! Dogs here again with your review :). I enjoy reviewing your work, it's short sweet and too the point. Anywho, back on topic. So I'm comparing this ...

Hello there boo! Dogs here with your review! Before I jump in, Is your username a subtle reference to "To Kill a Mocking bird?" If so I think that's rather ...

"As I tell you my story" You use "story" twice in the same paragraph in too close of proximity to each other. Substitute one of them out with maybe tale ...

Hello there Infinity! Dogs here with your review. Okey dokey, as always you have a great voice and idea for your poetry. Good concept to use, great potential to be ...

Hello there indi darlin! Dogs here with your review. Okey dokey so I'm really going to focus more on your performance aspect of this piece, which is where my thespian ...

"My eyes saddened" I think you could use a more descriptive phrase, I also think that your narrator would be in more of a fury than a state of immediate ...

Hello there magpie! Dogs here with your review today. Alrighty, as always your atsoundingly amazing work is a pleasure to read. And as always I gotta put on my nitpick ...