bubblewrapped

Hi there, Like Paper Moon, I enjoyed the old-fashioned style here, but I also found the repetition a little too much. I've always found when repeating certain lines in poetry, ...

I have to confess, I agree with Firestarter here (incidently, Jack, did Brad die and make you the new YWS Grouch?...I'm kidding. Really. Don't eat me ;)). If you really ...

Nice enough, but not a poem that reaches out and grabs the reader by the throat. A few things to remember: 1. Punctuation. Poetry needs punctuation as much, if not ...

Hi Megan, welcome to YWS :) Like FA, I appreciate the sentiment behind this poem - it's nice to find someone using a fairly upbeat tone, if you know what ...

While a very moving poem, and well written in parts ,my main complaint was the lack of flow. Each verse seemed to be just about to hit stride, and then ...

What a lovely metaphor :) I really like the final stanza of this, and the idea of colours being wiped off someone's face like paint. That said, though, I think ...

No offense, but I think this is perhaps one of those poems that's best when it's shared only between those it has meaning for. I really feel that, as a ...

Mm, it's not awful, exactly, but it is a bit cliche and self-absorbed. I think the major problem with it is that, although you describe what you (or the poet) ...

This was very interesting; I like the twist at the end - you're expecting it to be all romantic, only it isn't, which successfully negates the cliche feel of some ...

That was lovely; what a fantastic image! I don't think I'll look at bicycles the same way again XD That said, though, there were a few things I thought you ...

I quite like this - it's very expressive. Just a few things I think you need to watch. Firstly, word choice: I think that "yank" is perhaps too violent an ...

I adore the beginning of this; it really is a lovely image. The rest gets a bit repetitive in places (I think your'e reusing words deliberately, though, so that's OK), ...

I agree with break~my~heart; you need to watch your punctuation, especially capitalization. Most people don't seem to realize, but in poetry punctuation is just as important as in prose - ...

I liked this. The line breaks were a bit arbitrary - it seemed kind of stiff in places - but you paint a vivid picture and the emotion behind the ...

This is a great first effort, although you do have an extra syllable or two here and there. I love your use of imagery - "sunlit shadow rooms" in particular ...