bubblewrapped

Hola, Aet :) It's pretty good - nice and short lol. I like the subject matter and I think the first-person works well. A few things: I’m in a crowd, ...

The analogy was beautiful, apt and well followed. Some of your rhyming was spectacular and I love the way you kept to the rhythm. But (and you knew this was ...

Hi there, First, I just wanna say welcome to YWS, as I can see you're fairly new :) I'm sure you'll love it here! Moving on to your poem: Basic ...

I disagree about capitals; they arent always necessary in poetry, IMHO, and it adds to the effect for it to have lower-case. But whatever. Overall, I love this - especially ...

Um. Yeah. Assuming this is intended as a serious story, you have a long way to go. Firstly, check your spelling and punctuation. There are a lot of errors here. ...

OK, for starters, I know next to nothing about script-writing so this is mostly going to be about plot/dialogue/character with a little bit of spelling and formatting thrown in XD ...

Hi thing, It's interesting to crit some non-fiction stuff for a change, but I'm not used to it so bear with me if I'm a little fussy XD Firstly, I ...

Most of what I would have pointed out was already covered in Jabber's lovely long crit, so I'll just give you my overall impressions. First of all, the idea is ...

Wow. I get the feeling I'm kind of missing half of the point of this, but I did enjoy the rhythm and imagery :lol: I'm not sure about the long ...

Hi Evangelina, Firstly, welcome to YWS! Nice to see some new faces around :) Just like to remind you that we'd really appreciate it if you could post a few ...

Hey Dreamer, You asked for it, so here it is :D First off, I like the simplicity of this poem. You've kept to your pattern and I think the changes ...

Erm. No offense, but that didnt really make sense. You have a beautiful idea (solstice = beauty in my mind) but I think it's spoiled by having to conform to ...

I cant believe this hasnt had any crits yet :shock: Firstly, I can tell there's a great deal of emotion behind this poem. Unfortunately, a lot of it is obscured ...

Hey there, welcome to YWS :) Chandni picked up most of what I wanted to say, so I'll just reiterate a few points: 1. Imagery. You really need to expand ...

I liked this. Very subtle and well expressed. A few nit-picks: May I press my fingers firmly on your neck? As your skin rubs off on mine? And my head ...