biancarayne

Some of the rhymes in this didn't really rhyme at all...also, the rhythm was a wee bit off in some places. But you could definitely feel the sadness throughout this, ...

I'm not sure how the mountains fit into this because the main idea seemed to be really storms...and also to me it didn't seem to end right, like there should ...

I like the rhyming in this and how it seems to help the flow roll along really well. Parts of it were a bit confusing and could be clarified, but ...

Hey, the emotions in this were definitely strong and it was a sad write...whoever this is about, if you like them then try and talk to them and get to ...

In the beginning I think you should explain what "the Watch" is to avoid unnecessary confusion. Also explain about the murderers and this...guild. The phrase, "venom from a cobra’s fang" ...

Okay, so the plot was pretty typical to me and there was nothing to set this apart from millions of other fantasy stories. Also, much of the wording was bland ...

Hmmm, well the idea behind this was certainly intriguing and creative. The grammar and spelling could be improved as there were quite a few mistakes I saw in this. Some ...

This is a very nice poem, and the imagery that it creates is magical and exciting and fun. However, I thought that perhaps this piece might be better without the ...

This definitey has a lot of potential in it waiting to be tapped. To me, the questions you asked at the beginning aren't necessary and just irk the reader before ...

I like how this shows how two-faced people (especially some girls) can be...the dialogue was most definitely interesting and engaging. I felt as though there could have been more detail ...

This is definitey a very unique write about two people who at the start seem to be different, with their separate philosophies, and yet somehow they became attracted and in ...

This sounded more like lyrics again which I'm pretty sure it was...if it was supposed to be a poem though, more poetic devises like metaphors or whatever would definitely had ...

Sooo this does sound more like lyrics than a poem though that might not have been your intent. Anyways, the only thing I find were a few minor grammatical errors, ...

So it's definitely a very interesting and intense story with lots of potenial. The grammar and punctuaion in this wasn't the best and could be improved a little as it ...

"A many-times-folded map was hovering in front of her, anxiously." That sounded kind of awkward to me. Otherwise though, I couldn't find anything else wrong with this, maybe mainly because ...