Published May 13, 2007
Snow is falling all around,
Snow is all over the ground.
Making a blanket over everything it sees,
Soft and crunchy over all of the trees.
When the children go out to play,
They have snowball fights all day.
Falling here and falling there,
Over trees with leaves or bare.
It is magical how it comes down,
Making everything feel safe and sound.
Points:
Time spent:
IP address:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
Are you sure you want to delete this comment? This cannot be undone.
Mark this comment as a review? Points will be awarded to the poster.
Your comment was posted, but it wasn’t long enough to count as a review. Reviews need about four complete sentences (at least 250 characters). Try writing another review that explains your thoughts in more detail — the author will appreciate it, and you’ll earn points for it.
140,094 Literary Works • 672,998 Reviews
I liked the imagery in this and thought that you described the snow and it;s actions in a way that we can all picture easily in our minds - even me, who has only seen about five inches of snow in my whole lifetime! But, the poem about the snow is one that is used a lot and it's not a very original idea.
In some likes you've too many syllables and it makes it hard to read because the line slows down with the flow and even stops. Try and make this better somehow, especially in the fourth line 'cause this is the worst effected, I thought.
This is a cool poem; one thing I reccommend would be what others have, a better rhyme scheme. It also seems to me that you should try to split of some of your lines such as
"Making a blanket over everything,
Soft and crunchy over all the trees"
would seem smoother if you made it
"Making a blanket,
over everything,
Soft and crunchy,
over all the trees"
This one is really cute. Admittedly your rhyme an rhythm could have been better and it could have been longer but I like it and yes, snow is a wonderful thing.
This is a prime example of bubblegum rhyme--simple rhymes that really have no purpose other than that: to rhyme! These are actually not beneficial to your poetry, but detrimental. Try coming up with some more original imagery, and then rewrite this. Good luck with your poetry!
This is a very nice poem, and the imagery that it creates is magical and exciting and fun. However, I thought that perhaps this piece might be better without the rhyming, though that might just be me since I've never much been one for rhyming anyway. The rhythm also seemed a little off in some places. Otherwise, though, I definitely did enjoy reading this piece!
Aww that was a sweet poem. I love watching the snow, it's so peaceful
and it also causes trains to be delayed/cancelled so I don't have to go to college. Yay for snow!
Meevs
xx
That was nice
I'm not very good at critiquing (or however it is spelled spelt... i dunno)
You don't get much snow in oregon do you? Mostly rain. I live in southern washington, real close to Oregon.