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  • Novel / Chapter » Science Fiction, General Re: Astrias

    Pretty good for a young writer such as yourself. This is pretty much a self contained story, and I like that; You could make more from it, or it could ...

    Oct 26, 2014
  • Novel / Chapter » Mystery / Suspense, Action / Adventure Re: Keep Running

    Are you planning on writing more? If so, I would suggest writing on another program such as Word or Celtx, that way you always have access to your work outside ...

    Sep 30, 2014
  • Novel / Chapter » Science Fiction, Fanfiction Re: MechWarrior Chapter 1

    Not bad dude, (or dudette). I enjoy the descriptions of the mechs, though I don't think you needed to quote "arms" so many times. I get that they're not human ...

    Sep 30, 2014
  • Poetry » Dramatic, Narrative Re: Limitation

    Mmm. Ambiguous. I like it. Overdose Self explanatory, perhaps, or an overdose of a relationship. Becoming too attached, or involved. Silence Death? Or the falling out of a relationship. Locked ...

    Sep 30, 2014
  • Novel / Chapter » General, General Re: What's So Great About Humans?

    Hey there. Gotta say, your sentiment really resonates with me. A couple nitpicks: biasness. Not a word. You can use the word "bias" in any number of ways without having ...

    Sep 30, 2014
  • Novel / Chapter » Supernatural, Mystery / Suspense Re: Premonition: Prologue and Chapter One

    I'll start by saying wow. This is one of the best written pieces I've come across on here, and that's saying a lot. I can't say everything from the pacing, ...

    Sep 30, 2014
  • Short Story » Mystery / Suspense, Supernatural Re: Mind Traps: Installment Two

    Hey, another review here! This is a good continuation of the story. There's one thing I forgot to mention on the other review: They offered John 10,000 dollars to take ...

    Aug 13, 2014
  • Novel / Chapter » Mystery / Suspense, Supernatural Re: Mind Traps: Installment One

    Beans here, the prophecy has spoken. This is a unique one, I don't get to see a lot of stories concerning dreams or matters of the mind, so I found ...

    Aug 13, 2014
  • Novel / Chapter » Historical Fiction, Romantic Re: Salvation of Ignorance - Chapter 7.2: Not Ceased His Rampage

    Hello! Beans here, with a healthy serving of beans I've been following the story a little bit, it's pretty good. As far as the story itself goes, there's not a ...

    Aug 13, 2014
  • Other » General, General Re: Daughter of the living God

    Good piece. The one thing I would fix is the redundancy in the first paragraph. It reads somewhat like a run-on sentence. Also, "They curl in the air and majestically ...

    Aug 13, 2014
  • Poetry » Realistic, Teen Fiction Re: the burden of aging

    Quite the poignant piece, it says a lot about what we all grow through when we grow up, with youthful optimism and naivety slowly making way for the hard truths ...

    Aug 13, 2014
  • Novel / Chapter » Literature, Dramatic Re: Angels - Prologue

    I like it! I like it a lot! I feel like you could break this up a little. Your paragraphs are monolithic in their size, challenging me to climb them, ...

    Aug 12, 2014
  • Novel / Chapter » Science Fiction, Teen Fiction Re: Magic Survives- Prologue

    Beans here. Hope you like lima. I'm not entirely sure how I feel about this piece. To name a few things, a chapter need be about as long as feels ...

    Aug 12, 2014
  • Novel / Chapter » Action / Adventure, Teen Fiction Re: The Boy in the Shadows: Chapter 1 (Revised)

    Hello! Beans here, with a healthy serving of beans. Hope you're not allergic. I have a few nitpicks, hopefully they aren't too nitty or too picky. “What are you in ...

    Aug 12, 2014
  • Novel / Chapter » Mystery / Suspense, Dramatic Re: Secrets of Suburbia: Skeletons, Addiction & Betrayal Chapter 1

    Greetings! Beans here, with some beans. Hope you like beans. I like how the domestic abuse scene is juxtaposed with the rest of the piece, it sets an interesting tone ...

    Aug 12, 2014


Maybe what most people wanted wasn't immortality and fame, but the reassurance that their existence had meant something. No matter how long... or how brief. Maybe being eternal meant becoming a story worth telling.
— Roshani Chokshi, Aru Shah and the Nectar of Immortality