In lucid dreams he faced his greatest nightmares. Gathering great efforts, he sought to escape those horrors and pass on into the waking-world, where many a wanderer set free made their ways aimlessly throughout the world.
Idly, he pushed at the far reaches of his mind to escape the state in which he had constantly been forced into for the past three years. Three years that appeared to be centuries. A government project, they had told him. A test, an experiment, a daring little feat and in the end, he would be 10,000 dollars richer.
Such realities, as far from the truth as they were, attracted thousands from many different backgrounds, from all corners of the country. They had all came as night fell, and then by daybreak, they were all absent of true thought.
John had been able to derive a few knowable facts from the world in which he had been plunged.
It was operated on an inconsistent basis, where the vaguest details could shift on the slightest whim.
Escape, futile as it were, could be achieved at a certain time, with the greatest of circumstances.
It was taking place in a realm far above the reach of any physical being. It took place in his mind.
Such mind-traps, as they were fondly called by the scientist who labored over them, had taken many years to perfect. A means to enslave civilization through their own minds, the government had toyed with the idea for several decades before finally putting it into play.
The fateful world John, and many others, had been plunged into was as deranged as any crazy man's most disturbing fantasies, arranged in a surreal and vaguely impossible realm that seemed to defy common knowledge and operate purely on the nightmare’s of extremely disturbed children.
Objects in the state appeared to be one thing, and then another thing in the next fleeting moment. The sense of time was all but gone, and John could hardly keep count as to how many days he had been fixed in a state of horrifying solitude and inconsistency.
Beyond common reasoning, he had somehow retained his sanity long enough to recognize these facts about the world listed above. Even more impossible was the fact he knew a way to escape the place in his mind he had been confined to.
A marvelously dreadful tale could be told from the time he entered his state to present time. In his earlier life, he had been a nobody. Having no truly redeemable qualities, and accomplishing nothing, he had been flung through life from job to job, encounter to encounter. The prospect of 10,000 dollars had held an allure on him that easily baited him to trust his safety with the government. An ill-fated choice, it soon turned out.
His first day in the state was a blur, and he vaguely remembered searching for human life in the twisted landscape that was his recently corrupted mind.
Trees that were purple, dogs that were green, and cars that melted in the cold frost of winter featured prominently in his mind on that day. Roads that winded turned straight, gentle thoughts that bubbled up were thrust down by the darker thoughts that lurked out of sight. Demons laughed, and fire consumed his sleeping moments, and the soft echoes of the dead beckoned to him from the abyss. He recalled a sense of his own death – a sense that suggested he himself had passed from the earth - but the sense disappeared the further he plunged himself into the state, and it was all but forgotten later on.
The twisted demons that now haunted his life made brief appearances now and then today, but at the time of his entry into the state, dominated his wandering.
They would appear at odd times, without warning, as he walked along roads that never ended. Occasionally, he encountered a passing stranger, but that stranger always turned out to be another one of the demons, under a guise.
The state was endless, seamless, and seemingly devoid of human life besides John himself. Sleepless, he wandered through what he could only perceive to be his darkest nightmares.
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
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I enjoy things that involve dreams and the mind so I found this very interesting. Not that much happened in this chapter but I'm guessing this was just the foundation of the story to get the reader up to speed with what is going on.

I felt like the first sentence could have been worded better because dreams and nightmares are sort of the same thing. Just that one is good and one is bad. Although I don't really know how exactly it could be changed. I just feel like it let the rest of the piece down because I found what followed very good.
Your style is great for this chapter but I would not recommend carrying on the story in this way as it is very vague and I feel it could become tiresome and confusing.
But all in all, I enjoying reading
Beans here, the prophecy has spoken.
This is a unique one, I don't get to see a lot of stories concerning dreams or matters of the mind, so I found it pretty interesting. This is pretty much exactly what being asleep at night is like for me ('cept I'm less the center of crazy things in my dreams, more the observer).
There are a couple nitpicks here and there, but they're nothing major. Your style is consistent, clear, and also explorative. Rather good, mmmyes.
Thanks for your review. I've often pondered the idea of exploring the mind and dreams.
Hi there!

This was very interesting to read and most definitely gave me all the information I'm sure I'll need once I get to the later chapters. There's not any action here or some detailed event. Well, okay, technically this experiment is a detailed event. My point is though, this is a great introduction to your novel where you share with us all we need to know. I like it. Most first chapters are like that in the way that everything is set up for the readers and we just get the first little bit of the story.
Really there isn't much to say here. Your writing is very precise and you seem to know exactly what your style is. This might sound strange, but I've seen some writers who just simply struggle with their style and can't figure out how it is they want to write what they write. But here you've kept it consistent throughout. I felt like I was reading the same thing in each paragraph. Not like it was repetitive though, just that it was the same style and definitely felt like the same story. Keep it up!
I couldn't really find anything to point out, but I do have one nitpick for you.
You used the word 'now' here twice in the same sentence. I understand your reasoning for using 'now' at the end of the sentence, but you don't really need it at the beginning. There are plenty of other words that you could use instead. For example, you could say "The twisted demons that had begun to haunt his life" or simply "The twisted demons that haunted his life". Either one would work fine. And then you would avoid the repetition here.
Nothing but praise for you here in this chapter. If you keep it up I might have the easiest reviews to make ever xD Please let me know when the next chapter is out!
Keep writing!
**Noelle**
I agree with what you had to say about the 'now' part. I will keep you updated, and I'll put all of these installments in a folder for easy access. One could call these installments my experience with surrealism (I would, at least.)
Thanks for taking the time to read and review.