barefootrunner

Hi there, FallenAngel! I see you already have a few comments, and no wonder! This is a very interesting work! I'm just going to lift out bits of your piece ...

Hi there, mithrim! Okay, the idea is very clearly here, and I like it, but there are a few things bothering me. My first piece of advice to you would ...

Hey Rydia! This was hilarious! It reminded me of a guy I saw clutching at my fence and moaning to himself yesterday—either drunk or high. This poem made me able ...

Hi Granger! I'm here to review your piece. Well done with this chapter! My first bit of advice is to be careful with information dumps. I know that you want ...

Okay, just to add to what Rydia said, perhaps you should make it more realistic: no way someone with a broken ankle would be able to outrun lots of men ...

Hi there! The first stanza is really great. I like the way it plays with the reader, and draws them into the poem. The second stanza is fine, but I ...

Hi there! Emily pointed out a few typos and grammos, but I'll do the full service, seeing as I have so much time :) I'll just paste it in here, ...

When I first read this, I wondered what was going on until I reached the end and realised it. A flood of goosebumps went down my back. Even though this ...

Okay, I'll be the first to review your poem. First a bit more on your form: Haikus are far more than 5-7-5. The modern English version of the haiku uses ...

Wow! This is something wholly new and strange! I loved it. I instinctively started whispering the tongue-entwining phrases and grinning at some choice passages. Just check your spelling for "alliteris

Hey yubbies! First thing I think is: I know the feeling. Then I sit in smug satisfaction nodding at every familiar phrase. You certainly did a great job with expressing ...

Hey again, dogs! That is so beautiful and sad! You really have a gift for emotional poetry, because you give it emotion without being morbid or sickening. This rhythmic kind ...

Hi Deanie! I loved the simplicity and childlike sound of the poem. It reminds me a bit of William Blake's Auguries of Innocence, because of the random rhyming style and ...

Hi there, gummiebaerrs! Feedback coming up. This is an utterly beguiling insight into a family's life. It's as though you have hidden me in the laundry basket and I'm peeping ...

Firstly, hello and welcome to YWS! I admire your bravery for submitting such a long, difficult chapter! I liked the way the story flowed, the characters, and the way you ...