-
Re: Last Winter
I absolutely loved this poem. My interpretation of the theme was that a girl has a love who has tricked her and her brother doesn't want her to be hurt, ...
Apr 11, 2013 -
Re: Give Love a Chance~ Chapter 1
This is a really good chapter, definitely one too hook a reader into a story. I absolutely love the main character, her personality really draws me in. The plot is ...
Apr 8, 2013 -
Re: Love
Hi, Bandgeek here! This poem was a great poem about a general topic, and I really liked it. I agree with Animal, this poem needs a rhyme scheme. It was ...
Mar 31, 2013 -
Re: Jewel Digger
I definitely agree with breaks in the rhythm, the second stanza seemed so large, try to break it into two. This was an interesting topic, though. Read it out loud ...
Mar 31, 2013 -
Re: Fall of the Twin Towers
Hi! Great poem. Definitely for a good cause. I think, since you ended it with " The fall of the twin towers" I think it would sound better if that's ...
Mar 31, 2013 -
Re: Who put those needles in your heart?
The first thing I thought when I read this poem was:stanzas. Try separating it into stanzas, just to save me from losing my mind. Otherwise, this was a very emotional ...
Mar 31, 2013 -
Re: perpetuum mobile
This was a great poem, very artistic. The first stanza could low better, though, If you changed I to "There is the sun, turning off, but it will turn on ...
Mar 31, 2013 -
Re: Fears to your Feelings
This was a good poem, but the thing that really bothered me was you lack of periods and capitalization. Your format was a little distracting, too. Just try to put ...
Mar 31, 2013 -
Re: Pin the Blame
This was a great poem, I loved it. It had a great rhyme scheme and was an interesting topic to choose. The only thing that I noticed was your punctuation. ...
Mar 31, 2013 -
Re: Heart of stone, Chest of steel.
This poem was great, very smooth and well written. The two things that bothered me was how large each line was. Try to shorten the lines so it would have ...
Mar 31, 2013 -
Re: That Boy: Part 5
This was a great chapter (sorry I haven't read the others but I kind of get the gist of it). The only thing I think you should change is that ...
Mar 31, 2013 -
Re: A New Beginning (Prologue)
Your writing is very amazing, I really liked it. The only thing I have for critique is to make it a little longer, like drag the crash science out more, ...
Mar 31, 2013 -
Re: Young mother
This piece has a really good perspective on the growing problem of teen pregnancy. Some of your grammar didn't quite make sense, so just read it out loud to yourself ...
Mar 31, 2013 -
Re: Perspective
This was a good poem, but I wasn't quite sure what it has to do with perspective, though I could just be being ignorant right now. :) I liked how ...
Mar 31, 2013 -
Re: Well, This is Awkward
This piece of work is so decieving! I would never have thought they were fighting of a bus seat, it was so funny. I was cracking up the whole time ...
Mar 31, 2013
