abelgaiya

Wow. It's just like all those classic short passages that are given during English examinations. I like the whole thing. Especially how it turned out at the end (your fainting ...

It's a really great story. Corrections: It's 'girl's mother' not 'girls mother' 'mother's arms' not 'mothers arms' The quotes are all nice. Well spaced and organized. I like the 'or ...

Why is this under short stories? o_O "But when my mom “died” five years ago..." Why is 'died' in quote? Is it that he didn't believe she was dead or ...

Nice. Although I would have loved it if the beasts had eaten the person. I like the 'You' technique. It makes the readers create a direct mental image of the ...

The title made me think it's an investigation story. Why is Amanda narrating what's happening at Suzy's home? Is she a stalker? Who the hell is Christina?! Oh wait, Amanda ...

"I mean, I don't know why I wouldn't, cause I do all the time..." The above statement is similar to this: X: Doctor, why do we fart Y: Because we ...

Wonderful! From a piteous beginning to a thrilling end. This was really creative. However, the title doesn't really represent the story. The title even sounds humorous. When I started reading, ...

A lot of questions have been actuated. Do people in real life experience what you're experiencing whenever a book is lived through? Why didn't your powers let you stop Eliza's ...

Loved the story. Especially the part where Ainee thinks the fires were caused by the earthquake. It got me thinking "Is Neyai crazy, or does Ainee not know what's really ...

Brilliantly outlined! Usually, I don't read such long stories till the end. But this was so interesting, I had to finish it. The expressions, descriptions, elucidations and grammar are all ...

First you say "In the land of creatures, the Dark Woods was a forbidden place". Then you say 'For it held creatures such as..." It would have been more effective ...

Correction: In the first paragraph: "...Now that tells what was that noise about" It should be: "...Now that tells what that noise was" "...I saw someone got bullied..." It should ...

Not to be a buzz kill or anything but, the title of the story isn't really what the story is about. It says 'Parties', yet a party makes up just ...

Like the others, I say more description. This is incorrect: "While I was in my mess of a room, playing on my laptop, when I heard…” It should be: “I ...

You should try to space your work. This sort of clogged writing does not encourage people to read till the end. You should also watch out for commas and full ...