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ab5986

  • Poetry » Other, General Re: haiku for the shipwrecked

    I have a lot of criticism for the haiku . The thing that bothered me the most was the third haiku, seeing as I could make nothing out of it: ...

    Aug 2, 2010
  • Poetry » Other, General Re: Haiku 1 (English Syllables)

    Hi, I would like to make one particular point clear: haiku in general don't have title . Now, on to the haiku: I rather like it, although, in my opinion ...

    Jul 13, 2010
  • Poetry » Other, General Re: Endure

    This poem is the best poem I have ever read. It is very in its build, as well as in its descriptions. This poem is not something that can improve ...

    Feb 9, 2010
  • Poetry » Narrative, General Re: The Dishwasher's Bane

    It's a very interesting poem, and its well written, the only problem I have with this poem is this: But such is the life of a dish washing girl, A ...

    Jan 31, 2010
  • Poetry » Other, General Re: Gone

    Hi, your poem is very nice, but there were a couple of things that bothered me: 1) It was my choice to walk away, I knew what kind of consequences ...

    Jan 31, 2010
  • Poetry » Lyrical, General Re: "Concealed"

    Hi, this poem is rather interesting, touching, and it displays the emotions very nicely. There were a few problems, however: 1) and silently pray to God I have a problem ...

    Jan 30, 2010
  • Poetry » Lyrical, General Re: through the dark

    Hello, I liked the poem, grim as it was, it started organized and gradually the thoughts simply scattered, which in my opinion, gave the ending a feel of despair. Now ...

    Jan 30, 2010
  • Poetry » Lyrical, General Re: Seasonal Rebirth

    Hello, I don't have any real criticism, its simply too good to have any basic flaws I can see, but regarding what I have seen: 1).....Sorry, but there really is ...

    Jan 30, 2010
  • Poetry » Lyrical, General Re: Life: A Game of Tag

    Hi, your poem is very nice, describing life as a game of tag, who would have thought of that? Well, anyways, I had a few problems with it: 1) The ...

    Jan 30, 2010
  • Poetry » Lyrical, General Re: Mistakes

    Hi, quite frankly, I don't know what to make of this. It is very nice and yet feels lacking. Its a bit too straight forward, at least for me, and ...

    Jan 30, 2010
  • Poetry » Other, General Re: Today Was a Fairytale

    Your poem is very nice in concept, and it is nice overall, but there are points in which you are too straight forward, such as: Today was a fairytale Every ...

    Jan 30, 2010
  • Poetry » Other, General Re: Winter is a Live Mind

    Hello Rose, That was a very nice piece, and I can relate to it, at least to some extent. Now,criticism: 1) Try not to disturb the pictures and feelings you ...

    Jan 28, 2010
  • Poetry » Narrative, General Re: Those Crows

    Hey man, this poem is one of the funniest things I've read in a long time. Now for tips: 1) You've rushed into the poem, you should take your time ...

    Jan 28, 2010
  • Poetry » Other, General Re: Hatred

    Hi, I don't know much about poems either, but I'll give it my best. First, a couple of general tips: 1) English is a language with a wonderful variety of ...

    Jan 27, 2010
  • Novel / Chapter » Fanfiction, General Re: Artemis Fowl Fanfic: Chapter 1

    Hi, listen, I'm kinda new to this so I only have one comment, I read the first Artemis Fowl book a lot and I noticed that it is extremely Similar ...

    Sep 24, 2009


attempting foot extraction
— Mea