Hi everyone! This poem tells the story of an unidentified persona, who immigrated to another country; now he is returning to his homeland and dealing with his past and the long-term issues involved in this change, if you were wondering. It's free verse. 
Eight-pointed, satin star that longing tourists depict.
Eight directions to voyage before falling onto the bended knees
on the maiden snow and silently pray to God,
thanking him that there was enough of you to return,
To notice unknown, innocent residents of the metropolis and adore them
with all your might for even the brilliants came up
On your pale cheeks. You hid your faithfulness to this realm
Under seven locks, in an unfortunate attempt to bury it from your heart,
Not to root millions of seeds of pain during those many years you were out.
Instead, you aimed to disregard the sorrow that smashed to smithereens your heart,
And invested your energy in knowledge,
Overcoming all of the difficulties of being taught to.
A single noble basis progressed all this hectic, frantic chaos in your
misted mind and heart. A family.
Only one realm. Only two towns. You saved your
pledge to such an internal announcement that it was the worst of times,
It was the best of times. Just like every other common matter we see day after day.
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
Are you sure you want to delete this comment? This cannot be undone.
Mark this comment as a review? Points will be awarded to the poster.
Your comment was posted, but it wasn’t long enough to count as a review. Reviews need about four complete sentences (at least 250 characters). Try writing another review that explains your thoughts in more detail — the author will appreciate it, and you’ll earn points for it.
125,020 Literary Works • 672,861 Reviews
Hi, this poem is rather interesting, touching, and it displays the emotions very nicely.
There were a few problems, however:
1)
I have a problem with this word, seeing as there is no mention beforehand of someone who is there, and better word would be "and a silent...".
2)
I'm sorry, but I don't understand what this sentence is talking about.
Your poem is very nice, save those little glitches, and I would love to read another poem of yours, sincerely, ab5986.
I feel a lot of power coming from this! It's a deep and well developed thought. The few adjustments I suggest here are merely to make it easier for the reader to understand.
Thanks so much for sharing this with me!
Thank you very much, Dreamy! I'll be sure to pay attention to your works too, I have a feeling they are really good!
Hi! This was really cool. You really gave the main character (or whatever you wanna call him/her) feelings. It really reminded me of immigrants who have left and then returned. Awesome poem, you have tons of talent. Keep writing good stuff like this!
--Dreamy