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Re: A Criminal's Heart - Ch-1(Olivia)
Hello there, Shubhi! Here as requested. :smt003 “I told you that you are no good. I am more talented, powerful and smart er than you,” I was talking to the ...
May 12, 2010 -
Re: Gingerbread [Edited]
Hello there! Here as requested. :wink: An interesting and kind-of-a twist story of Grimm's story Hansel and Gretel! hehe. :mrgreen: I know you want this story to be a fairy-tale ...
May 12, 2010 -
Re: Lalaith
Hello there, Laura! Here as requested. Suggestions in blue Errors in red Treading softly, treading lightly Treading is a good pick for a word but not really for the first ...
May 12, 2010 -
Re: A Criminal's Heart-Prologue (REVISED)
Hello there, Shubhi! Here as requested. I might give a small nitpick 'cause I've seen a lot of reviews which pretty covered up all those mistakes.[/quote] “I should have tied ...
May 12, 2010 -
Re: jealousy
hello there! I really like this. It's like the poem itself is growing more of emotions as I read the more and more. It's kind of emotional. It had a ...
May 11, 2010 -
Re: Where I Live
Hello there! This is an interesting lyric though you should rate this 12+ or 16+ for the some mild languages. :wink: Aside from that, it was emotional and expressive to ...
May 11, 2010 -
Re: Twilight *Contains excessive nagging and puke worthyness*
Hello there! This is so funny 'cause you really made me laugh esp. on the last part. :mrgreen: I love how you portray the two MCs here because you seemed ...
May 10, 2010 -
Re: a once beautiful heart.
Hello there! This poem's good and interesting. It's an emotional piece. It had a smooth flow and the idea of this is quite understandable. Sometimes , life hands you things ...
May 10, 2010 -
Re: Feel Nothing
Hey there! I totally agree with Kyllorac. :wink: It was too cliche' and the idea itself wasn't really interesting. Maybe try to use some figures of speech like similes, metaphors, ...
May 10, 2010 -
Re: mother's day
Hello there! So I see, you're a new member so... Welcome to YWS! :D First of all, you surprised me by this all "CAPS" style though, it would be really ...
May 9, 2010 -
Re: Dream
Hello there! I must say I like the idea behind it or the poem itself because it's understandable. I get the message of it. Before, my life was a horrible ...
May 9, 2010 -
Re: Limericks of the Cullens
Hello there! This is quite a fascinating and a funny poem. I was enjoying reading it from the start till the end. Though, as other have pointed out, words at ...
May 8, 2010 -
Re: Can you see me? (Prologue)
Hello there, Skins! I saw a chapter of this novel as a featured work at YWS homepage and thought it would be a lot better if I read it from ...
May 8, 2010 -
Re: Infatuation
Hello there! Your poem's interesting. It's understandable and easy-to-read type. You rhymed it well. It had a good flow from the beginning till the last stanza. I know that loving ...
May 8, 2010 -
Re: Polishing Love
Hello there! First of all, I like the way you describe Chase (as in the boy) :wink: . Your plot seems to be in a rush. Why would Chase suddenly ...
May 7, 2010
