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Re: A Short Drop and a Sudden Stop
Wow ! This was an amazing story to read ! I was captivated my the first 3 sentences ! I read the whole thing and i can't wait to read ...
Aug 10, 2013 -
Re: A Fresh Start
Hey there :) Well the first thing i noticed like everyone else here that it is one great big paragraph. I think if you went through this and actually made ...
Jul 11, 2013 -
Re: Twisted: Chapter3
Hey there ! Just came and read your chapter :) It is a very cliche chapter . I have come across a lot of stories that are like this. You ...
Jul 10, 2013 -
Re: Operation Imperial [chapter-4]
Hey there :) Just a quick suggestion about the first paragraph, You use a VERY long run on sentence. Try calming it down and make it more interesting with periods ...
Jul 10, 2013 -
Re: One Night in the Life of... part 1 of 2
I really like this ! You definitely portrayed the main character very well. I did notice a lot of spelling mistakes towards the beginning but not so much near the ...
Jul 1, 2013 -
Re: BFF (Boy Friends Forever) Chapter 1
Hey Lillie ! Just wanted to point a couple things out!! 1. You have a very well written plot here but I agree with the people below this, you use ...
Jul 1, 2013 -
Re: Chapter 1
This is very interesting ! I am glad someone tried something new here in YWS. You don't see a lot of books about killers on here (not that I have ...
Jun 15, 2013 -
Re: Changing Leaves Pt. 1
You have done an amazing job with this piece of literature ! Your whole story made me see what they were seeing and i truly think that you did an ...
Jun 15, 2013 -
Re: Your Weapon Versus Mine
This poem is amazing ! It is so full of emotion and I feel like i can really feel what you are feeling ! You have a very natural flow ...
Jun 15, 2013 -
Re: (Untitled) Chapter One
Hey !! You have a good piece of work here :) I think that if you toned it down with the descriptions and actually went back and edited then it ...
Jun 15, 2013 -
Re: Metal Binds Forever / Prologue
Wow maleficent !! You are a very talented writer ! You're prologue kept me wanting to read it . I truly LOVE all of your characters and definitely want to ...
Jun 15, 2013 -
Re: The Poet
Amazing. That is the only word i can think of for this short story. I think the way you used such educated words is what really captivated me. This was ...
May 27, 2013 -
Re: Little Red Riding Hood ~A Children's Story?~
Hello Writing Wolf. :) I really like your concept here but i do not get the last little bit. It doesn't exactly make sense to me. Anyways, I think that ...
May 27, 2013 -
Re: What They Told Us: Chapter 1
"A knock sounded from the hallway door. He was right on time as usual. I set down my teacup and started towards the door." I think the beginning of this ...
May 27, 2013 -
Re: Legion
I can see a lot of things that you could have done a lot better but i do appreciate that you are a very well written writer. If you review ...
May 27, 2013