Writersdomain

I told you I would get to this eventually. :wink: This was quite good. Your characters are very realistic and you are developing them well. I anticipate watching your ideas ...

Hey there Aquarias Angel! :D You have some fascinating ideas here and I'd like to see them continued; I like the name Skyla, and your writing style shows a lot ...

Marvelous, dahling, marvelous! Delightful to read. Your dialogue is very well done and your description is beautiful. The few things I did notice were pointed out by CL. Luke continued ...

Gah, battle scenes are so hard to write. You are right about the info dumps and action shifts, but I think that problem directly ties into an overall thing I ...

Welcome to YWS! Glad to have you here! You do catch my attention here, and some of your description is good. However, I have a few bones to pick about ...

On the preface... I like your writing style, but this first part is very, very abrupt. Usually, I don't mind it when writers plunge right into their stories and draw ...

Quite good! I like your unique description of Syradrum - sounds like a fun place to live. And your development of the characters continues to improve. Telling the Obvious There ...

Hey Dark Magik! This is a pretty good beginning to your story. Your characters are being developed quite well and coming across clearly; your plot is intriguing. Some good things ...

Okay, I had way too much fun reading this. I ended up reading it aloud and it was a blast - your style flows so well. :D I ran for ...

I liked this a lot. The entire 'navel-gazing' thing from the first part is much, much better. And I really liked Addo. :wink: The only thing that I noticed here ...

This was quite good. You have done a very good job of painting the setting and your first person isn't rambling - which is very good. My only major concern ...

Well, I think that AmeliaOliver and Sam have really hit everything I thought to say on the head. Your writing style is very good, but I had this odd feeling ...

Hallo! This was very interesting, interesting story line and I like the names. Now, because this is quite good, I am going to be extremely nitpicky. This does not mean ...

Hallo! Finally found time for your second chapter! (comments) [insert] As (I think 'when' would work better here.) Rone woke up he couldn’t remember anything except he knew he had ...

More description might be good as Ares mentioned; however, I think that if you slowed down the pace just a bit it would be just as beneficial. I like fast-paced ...