Wolferion

To be honest, there are only details as an introduction to who Mary is and a very short paragraph about a 'dramatic' scene, I'm not sure what you posted it ...

Just a warning before you continue, this is nothing like Anna's, so if you want 'sugar coated' and not improve at all, move no further. As much as I'd like ...

I bid you welcome. Now then, your work's in the spoiler together with my comments, inputs and impressions =) Nestled between the folds of darkness, until the time is right ...

Let's get to it, shall we? I'm an honest critic, so expect it. 1) It wouldn't hurt if you actually divided your sentences a bit - they are too packed, ...

Thanks ^^. I wish we could edit our works, I have a few mistypes there..

Nothing personal, but it seems the system's a bit messed up =\

My thanks for all the comments =) I've sure noticed the forced rhythm, but I let it be, because it makes the poem bitter - and reality is the same.

Thanks a lot =) Editted and fixed.

This is a pretty old post and I didn't think I'd get any more on it =) Thank you for the reviews, I'll look into it once I get over ...

My sincere thanks to everybody who reviewed =) A lot of grammar mistakes and misunderstood meanings, though now I know what's wrong and I'll look into it. Thank you once ...

My sincere thanks =) I've looked up those grammar mistakes and definitely will try not to repeat them, I think in different language than I write, so it's a bit ...

Thanks a lot for your post Coco =) I've looked at it and changed it, even made it longer. Those things you mentioned I should explain, I thought of explaining ...

Thanks, I'll see what I can do ^^' Just the problem is that I'm the only one who knows English in my family and also many of 'awkward' or non-scenery-description ...

I'm really grateful for your review =) I was holding back a bit due to the one thing that's going to happen later in the story, but in the end ...