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Re: I am Me
Hallo! I think this is a really interesting poem. It did a good job of expressing the emotions and sentiments felt by the speaker. A few suggestions: I must not ...
Jun 30, 2013 -
Re: The citys hero
Hallo! So, this is a very interesting story. I like the sense of adventure and excitement that it evokes. A few suggestions for improvement: First of all, I would suggest ...
Jun 30, 2013 -
Re: Loss and Gain pt. 1
Hallo! This is really well-done. The writing style is concise and clear, and the story makes me want to keep reading. I can't wait for Part 2! A few suggestions ...
Jun 30, 2013 -
Re: Scientificity of the Spiritual
Hallo! The idea behind this is really interesting, and I like how you explained it with systems. A few thoughts: Firstly, this is posted under short stories; is this the ...
Jun 30, 2013 -
Re: Take Cover
Hallo! I like the idea behind the poem, and it was very well-done. A few thoughts: The wind was blowing hard, Rain was falling fast. The lightning on the horizon, ...
Jun 30, 2013 -
Re: Requiem for the unrighteous ones
Hallo! So, this is a very interesting poem. A few suggestions I have: Firstly, you seem to have quite a lot of periods here, and very few complete sentences. Fragments ...
Jun 30, 2013 -
Re: Amusement
Hallo! So, I think the story was good, and the idea behind it is interesting, but there are a few improvements I would suggest. Firstly, the beginning. Generally, "Once upon ...
Jun 30, 2013 -
Re: The Feline in the Meadow (Revised and Remastered)
Hallo! So, I liked this, and I think you have a good idea here. However, there are a few things I think could use improvement. Firstly, the story itself was ...
Jun 30, 2013 -
Re: Life After Death : Chapter 1
Hallo! So, first, this sounds like it's going to be a very interesting story. A few suggestions: One thing that struck me as something that could be improved upon was ...
Jun 30, 2013 -
Re: The Moon Spirit Chapter One
Hallo! I really like this first chapter. It's immediately hooked me into the story and made me want to know what happens next. (Especially that first sentence; I really like ...
Jun 30, 2013 -
Re: Twisted: Chapter2
Hallo! I think you did a really good job with this chapter. The dialogue and interactions between the characters were really well-done. It's also interesting to hear the thoughts of ...
Jun 30, 2013 -
Re: The Prophecy ch. 1-2 (edited)
Hallo! So. Good continuation of this; I like how you started it a while later, when Andorra is now finally getting her revenge (Although I do wonder, why did it ...
Jun 30, 2013 -
Re: The Prophecy
Hallo! I was going to review your first and second chapter of this, but decided to stop by and say a few things about this. This is certainly interesting, and ...
Jun 30, 2013 -
Re: CK-P1: Chapter 7: Sanity
Hallo! So, I haven't read the rest of the novel, but from just this chapter it sounds really interesting, with a lot of adventure and action and such. One issue ...
Jun 30, 2013 -
Re: Risk ch 5
Hallo! One thing I liked about this was that it kept me reading, wanting to know what would happen next. There's a lot of emotion and tension present, and it ...
Jun 30, 2013
