West

Hey there :) I have to ask how long you worked on this? It's an amazing piece, but it seems like it needs one or two revisions. I love the ...

Ello! Right, first, you should cut out that little note at the beginning. Have confidence in your own work! That, and telling people you wrote this in ten minutes will ...

Harsh Critique? I think I could give my inner editor a runabout. I do really like this piece, it scared me a bit at a few points. I don't know ...

I quite like this one, it made me smile too. It's simple, but, how do I explain. I think, pretty, would be the word. I like it as it is, ...

Wow, that kept me gripped from beginning to end. The paragraph on the nature of humanity seemed a bit out of place. Thought trails like that can lead your reader ...

Ello. First things first - I like how you've noted what your inspiration was, it's interesting, but the three paragraphs of information at the beginning is kind of offputting. You ...

Wow. To be honest when I read 'I am Bob. I am Bob. My name is Bob,' I expected to be giving a pitty-critique, but this is awesome. I think ...

You only joined today? Haha, I like this one, though I feel slightly guilty about giving a critique... There's two issues though. You've posted three pieces of work in one ...

Ello :) Right... fun time. Why is 'Designated Driver' Quoted? Is it supposed to be? 'Dez, Trina, Kyle... always taken them there.' Info dump. If that's a crucial part of ...

Owe, I wanna hug him! This is an amazing piece. Good points first. Even though it's really long, your variety of punctuation, and sentence and paragragh lengths, did really well ...

Ello :) First things first: You've posted two pieces of work, but no reviews. That means you owe four. You should put the plagiarism note at the bottom too, those ...

Ello I have to agree that this is a pretty good poem, even though it's a little short. I admire your courage to ask people to tear your poem to ...

Heh, I like this one, it's cute. 'Half a semester / It felt more like a year' - would be better as 'that felt.' The use of 'it' puts an ...

Ello. I like the whole picture you're putting together here, I'm just not sure on the way you've done it. The varience of punctuation is a really nice change compared ...

Hiya! First things first, long titles are offputting. You need a shorter one. I like the structure of this, or rather lack of it. Usually not a good idea, but ...