Via

I have to agree that I was not particularly fond of this poem either. It's just so...pointless. You kind of think it's supposed to be funny but you don't know ...

I hate to be harsh--but frankly, this is a rant with strategically placed linebreaks...not a poem. Yea, it's strong...strongly worded, strong references, something most of us can probably relate too--

White Oleander took me a hell of a long time to get through. The first half-ish, a little less, is very good. It's very detailed, very insightful...somewhere around the middle ...

I owe everything in the way of my writing to Anne Frank. Seriously. We actually had to do a paper on what event, person, or thing sparked our interest in ...

Our spanish teacher [I don't know, don't ask haha] actually read this book aloud to us in highschool. I liked it a lot. We moved on to the second book...but ...

This is short. Short is fine. Short is hard to do because you have to put something touching in such a small amount of lines...you have not done this here. ...

I agree that is it Short, Simple, and whatever order you want to put that in. But there is also nothing that makes you want to read it again. It's ...

It is corny. Corny and true. But it does nothing for the reader. There is no description, it reads like a paper on the stages of life, not a poem. ...

I dare say I also liked this quite a lot. I do think the allusions may be a little too much for YWS, at least it will make it hard ...

I agree with the repetition being a little too much. Also, you have a couple linebreaks that I would like to kick very hard...they just sound awkward--you have a thought ...

I have to agree with both the linebreaks and the lack of imagery comments. There isn't really anything in here that makes the reader feel doesn't jerk any emotion at ...

Mmm. This...this is not a poem. This is you writing about what you like to do and proclaiming your originality. This is a journal entry or a proclamation to a ...

So, you have all these descriptors and then .... that last line. I'm not trying to sound like a jerk but, barf. That last line messes everything up. It's bland, ...

This revised version is much better than the original! Nice revising! But I agree that maybe a little forbodding information would be nice, because if it's read right now the ...

I have to agree with the rhyming critique above. Sometimes it works out okay, but sometimes it doesn't here. Typically when rhyming words...the last letter or two of the words ...