Corny....It's funny! I wrote it like three years ago and like, wow, this is deep.
Rainbow of Life
The first stage of life is the yellow stage,
Where your feelings and thoughts are created by the
adults you love.
These years can be happy or sad,
It’s up to your protectors.
The second stage of life is the orange stage.
When a child breaks away and rebels.
They think more independently,
And like to test their limits.
After orange comes red.
The ability to take care of yourself and be independent in
a wiser way.
To hangout or get a job
To go to collage or to not,
The red stage is when you make choices.
The next stage is made of purple.
Calming down, breathing in every scent.
Seeing every sight, hearing every sound.
Enjoying every moment.
The last stage of life is a calm blue,
Where you are back like a child with only your memories
Now you bide your time, until
To yellow you descend, back to a world of gold.
Its soooo corny!!!!
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*clap clap clap clap* very nice
I actually liked it. And it's college not collage.
Also, don't put your work down before anyone even reads your material. Be proud of it. (Obi-wan has spoken!)
Reads a bit like a self-help book. Boring and unoriginal.
Really corny.
I like the last one though
Sooo corny!
I dont have that many comments about this actually, but in a way, I don't fel that it is very original.
Hmmm....
well, I posted it Becouse I thought it was funny. If you had read all of it in the begining you would know I wasn't serious
If you knew before hand it wasn't very good and you knew why, then why did you post it?
Please only post work that you are serious about on here. Otherwise, we have wasted our time critting it.
Thanks.
Meg
I don't think its deep either. What I said was when I wrote it (around three years ago) I thought it was deep
i agree with the above.
To be honest it was the first lines of each stanza that made it clumsy and even boring....
sorry, i don't think its "deep" or anything...... but I'm glad to see you got the colours in the right order.....
It is corny. Corny and true. But it does nothing for the reader. There is no description, it reads like a paper on the stages of life, not a poem. This topic has been done so many times that in order for it to create a smile, it have to be really good and strike something in the reader that none of the others have.
Oh, and collage=college =]
Corny indeed. You could find so many other topics of such. Try a different topic, but retain your writing style.