Snow...(flakes)

by Bjorn

Published December 1, 2005

Long ago I dreamt you falling,
And in that moment had a longing:
To watch your graceful shapes pass by,
In white raiment, from the sky.



I was thinking of a dream I had when I was 4...

Comments & reviews · 24
User avatar
Bjorn
Comment
Bjorn commented Comment · Nov 17, 2006

Ahaha, yes, which is why I was surprised this re-surfaced.

Thanks anyhow! :)

User avatar
Via
Review
Via wrote a review Review · Nov 15, 2006

I agree that is it Short, Simple, and Sweet...in whatever order you want to put that in.

But there is also nothing that makes you want to read it again. It's just kind of so short and simple that you read it, it does nothing for you, so you forget it.

But in the Short, Sweet, Simple way...it's good =]

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Bjorn
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Bjorn commented Comment · Nov 15, 2006

Thank-you!

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Wiggy
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Wiggy commented Comment · Nov 14, 2006

Umm...can I repeat everyone else?

Short and sweet and cute and simple. I like!

Wiggy ;)

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Bjorn
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Bjorn commented Comment · Nov 12, 2006

My, when did this resurface?! Hahaha :o Please, please, don't get worked up about what Brad said. Where would we be without him? I admire his bluntness 8) Now I think of it, this poem does sound like a rambling. However, Brad, I thank you for commenting on the fact I could and have done better, I'm actually nervous of posting poems because of you! :lol: (understandably so; and not in a bad way!)

Again thank-you all :o , and Sohini for spicing up the "short and sweet" comment :D

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Sohini
Review
Sohini wrote a review Review · Nov 11, 2006

hmm what should i say... evryone seems to have used my favourite Bjorn-poem-comment-line (short and sweet) so i'll say it in Bengali ---- "Chhotto, shundor, mishti kobita" whicgh means (oder of words are same in meaning "small, beautiful, sweet poem"

meow-you're sending in a lot of poems-cool!

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Firestarter
Comment
Firestarter commented Comment · Nov 3, 2006

lexy >> Although I hesitate to say "flaming", this is not the place to complain about Brad. If you have a problem with a member, contact a moderator or administrator THROUGH PM, not in a topic. Not th placce to do it.

User avatar
Dream Deep
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Dream Deep commented Comment · Nov 3, 2006

Uh... lexy?

That really wasn't that necessary. If you don't agree with someone that's fine, but it's no reason to tell them that they're a horrible person and should be ignored. o.O

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lexy
Review
lexy wrote a review Review · Nov 3, 2006

Incandescence wrote:Bjorn,


This belongs in your blog, not on the poetry forum.

You have produced and are capable of producing much better.


Best,
Brad


*slams mouse on the table*
Argh... BRAD YOU ARE SOOOOOOOOOOOO HORRIBLE SOMETIMES.
i can't bear it.
This poem was amazing.... although rainment isn't a word.... but come on!!!!!!!!!!!!
Please don't take what he says to heart... its too good to be for a blog.
lexy xxxx

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photoboothx<3
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photoboothx<3 commented Comment · Nov 3, 2006

*CLAP* *CLAP* *CLAP*

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Dream Deep
Review
Dream Deep wrote a review Review · Oct 28, 2006

Incandescence wrote:Bjorn,


This belongs in your blog, not on the poetry forum.

You have produced and are capable of producing much better.


Best,
Brad


What folly, I say. :wink:

I think it was nice, Bjorn. Short and sweet (as seems to be the common consensus around here), thoroughly enjoyable.


~Dreamy

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London Aspen
Comment
London Aspen commented Comment · Oct 28, 2006

I'm actually nine... I'll need to fix that.

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London Aspen
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London Aspen commented Comment · Oct 28, 2006

Bjorn, I liked the even meter,and the flow of the words. Very " Snow-flake-like." I really enjoyed the rhythm of it all.
-London

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Incandescence
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Incandescence commented Comment · Oct 24, 2006

Bjorn,


This belongs in your blog, not on the poetry forum.

You have produced and are capable of producing much better.


Best,
Brad

Random avatar
Fireweed
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Fireweed commented Comment · Oct 23, 2006

'Tis simple, but very pretty. I like how you create such a vivid picture in the readers mind using so few words.

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Bjorn
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Bjorn commented Comment · Aug 3, 2006

Thank ye *bows*

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Cassandra
Review
Cassandra wrote a review Review · Apr 30, 2006

Angel17 wrote:Three words, Short, Sweet and Simple. Nice work! :)


That just about sums it up. I like that you are able to get right to the point and still leave the reader with that imagery and feeling...nice job. :thumb:

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Bjorn
Comment
Bjorn commented Comment · Apr 14, 2006

Niobe wrote:You had a dream about a snowflake?

I thoguth this was describing someone you loved, it was nice and short.

Edit: When I saw 'longing' and 'falling' it doesn't rythme because of my accent but 'by' and 'sky' do.



Haha! Funny how much poems are regarded as metaphors. I like to keep mine to the point, but then again, the meaning is all up to the reader :wink:

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Bjorn
Comment
Bjorn commented Comment · Dec 3, 2005

Things I was aware of, yet unsure of.
I actually had a fight with myself with the spelling of graceful (bleh), but thank you! As for 'rainment' I meant 'raiment', sorry and thanks. And finally the comma, I thought it was ok, but maybe a semi-colon? If not, I think the comma is ok...

And yes, tis about snowflakes (falling).

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Firestarter
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Firestarter commented Comment · Dec 1, 2005

Rainment isn't a word ...

It was okay, but I can't decide whether you need that comma in the last line. The pause makes it sound better, but the comma is so ungrammatical.

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Elizabeth
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Elizabeth commented Comment · Dec 1, 2005

You spelt graceful wrong.

Anyway I liked it. It was simple and sweet and really something that I liked.... Nice Job.

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Nis
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Nis commented Comment · Dec 1, 2005

You had a dream about a snowflake?

I thoguth this was describing someone you loved, it was nice and short.

Edit: When I saw 'longing' and 'falling' it doesn't rythme because of my accent but 'by' and 'sky' do.

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Bjorn
Comment
Bjorn commented Comment · Dec 1, 2005

Thank you.

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Angel17
Comment
Angel17 commented Comment · Dec 1, 2005

Three words, Short, Sweet and Simple. Nice work! :)



I send you buckets full of stars, the prettiest rainbow I've ever seen and a really adorable unicorn
— Zenith