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Re: Be Free
Yeah, I've had that problem a lot with this poem. She's supposed to be giving into death... I've have gotten a lot of different reactions to this. Most think it's ...
Sun Jan 18, 2009 3:12 am -
Re: A Clean Bite--Chapter 1 part 1 [rewrite]
Oh, wow. Thanks. I wasn't expecting a lot of people to look at it. :) I'll look over it and apply your critiques. I'm doing a rewrite of the other ...
Sat Jun 07, 2008 10:45 pm -
Re: Lost lovers(revised)
Okay let's get the nitpicking out of the way. When I left his appartment it wasn't good . He was crying just as much as me. That should be 2 ...
Mon May 05, 2008 9:49 pm -
Re: After Tears
The only thing I saw was lack of punctuation. You need punctuation! Otherwise I really liked this, it flows well. It's also very sad but sweet at the same time. ...
Mon May 05, 2008 1:55 am -
Re: Without Him
I liked this a lot. I actually started to sing it in my head. [Which I don't do often.] I disagree with tennisprincess though. With a band it wouldn't need ...
Sun May 04, 2008 11:44 pm -
Re: very short- just an exert
I liked this a lot. I love how you discribed what the love he felt towards her was like. I hope you post more on this; I'd really like to ...
Sun May 04, 2008 1:09 am -
Re: xXxxKareenAxxXx
Well, is this the prologue? If so I think it would be a bit too revealing. If it's the first chapter I think you should add more. I think this ...
Sat May 03, 2008 5:01 pm -
Re: Illusion
I agree. This is a good concept but it doesn't flow very well. Maybe add some more descriptive words. Maybe think of renaming it. Very good, keep writing! ~Rachael
Sun Apr 20, 2008 10:23 pm -
Re: Remembering Exodus
Wow. This has a lot of passion behind it. I did really see any major mistakes. I like that this is emotional. Keep writing. ~Rachael
Sun Apr 20, 2008 12:53 am -
Re: Cliche
I love this! It's amazing. Have you thought of publishing it? Keep writing! ~Rachael
Sun Apr 20, 2008 12:41 am -
Re: Keri's Love Chapter Two Part Five
Well Sela was right about some of the punctuation, and a few words were misspelled. Over all I liked the idea, and I can't wait to read more. Keep writing! ...
Thu Apr 17, 2008 1:08 am -
Re: Painting Memories (Poem)
Wow, it's great. I loved it. It kind of shocked me... Medusa mentioned the only mistakes I saw. very good job. :D Keep writing! ~Rachael
Thu Apr 17, 2008 12:04 am -
Re: A Clean Bite--Chapter 1 part 1
Thanks so much! I'll apply your critiques. Yeah, I know that there are a lot of mistakes. I forgot to save it when I revised, sorry. The rest will be ...
Thu Apr 17, 2008 12:01 am -
Re: Keri's Love Chapter Two Part Four
Oh yay! Tension, I love it! Cameron is NOT happy with Ryder. I like that you added him in. It gives the story even more spice to it! All that ...
Mon Apr 14, 2008 10:30 pm -
Re: A Clean Bite--Prologue
I know it sounds like them. I've rewritten this. Thanks for the critique though. You should read the rewrite I think it's a little better.
Mon Apr 14, 2008 8:19 pm