Young Writers Society

Okay. Aussie speaking. I really liked this. It seemed a little choppy to me. I would flesh it out and add a bit more to make it more. . . alive. Imagery is always a plus. The classic show don't tell example. Take the reader inside your emotions more, don't just give us this little tantalizing peek at the inside world of this character and this romance. Don't give up on this poem; it's good and it works. Bravo, prana.

The only thing I saw was lack of punctuation. You need punctuation!
Otherwise I really liked this, it flows well. It's also very sad but sweet at the same time. Great job and welcome to YMS.

~Rachael

Hello,

I am just here you inform you that you need to do two reviews before posting your work on here. We like to keep a 2:1 ratio of reviews to posts, that way everyone gets a little feedback.


Good Luck

OverEasy