Published April 19, 2008
Dark corners,
teary eyes,
and love that never works.
Standing in the rain,
and being home alone.
Gazing at the stars,
and think of you. (who's that?)
Occasionally happy,
something about a flower,
or maybe a love in full blossom.
I have to say,
that cliche is,
by far,
my favorite word.
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140,790 Literary Works • 673,688 Reviews
I liked this a lot and for some reason it reminds me of Carol Ann Duffy, she has the some sort of ironic style.
Irony in poetry is sometimes quite hard to get across right, but you did a good job.
Well done, have a star
I'd say a nice play of words...Dramatic is all over this...Well that was stupid...Otherwise why would it be in here?...All mistakes I caught and suggestions have been made by others...
Death
Haha. Thankyou! More compliments! I appreciate that people have finally caught onto the fact that it is not sweet and full of emotion. Its irony and made to poke fun. Thankyou!
Hey!
I must say, I found that very entertaining. The way you managed to poor in so much cliché stuff, and still keep me interesting was great. The last stanza was great, and the third was brilliant. I think all the writers on here who do cliché rip-offs will think twice next time, well done I usually prefer… original pieces but since this is so clearly ironic for being original for being cliché I love it! (did that make any sense?)
-Mark
I liked the idea, using cliches on purpose is great, otherwise not.
and think of you. (who's that?) --> this line made me wonder whether you'd meant "thinking" insted of think. And the "(who's that)" is cool, but I think you should delete the point after "you". It looks better that way, I think.
Overall, sweet and simple. I liked this. And yeah, making fun of cliches is something I appreciate and like to do, too. So good job.
Best wishes
Demeter
Thankyou for the review! I'm going to consider your idea. It's catching my interest.
Very cute idea and I liked the way you lined up all the different cliches. Just one or two little nitpicks:
I believe it should be thinking of you? Plus I'd capitalize the question in the brackets since it's a proper sentence, yes?
Also you might want to consider saying Who is that?. Has a more dramatic effect. But that's entirely up to you, just a thought.
All the best and happy writing!
~Kalliope
Thankyou, once again for the compliments! I feel like a winner poet or something. X3
Very, very nice! It brought many pictures to my mind, especially the dark corners and home alone bit. Couldn't have been said any better!
I think you used just the right amount of words, too. Not too long, but not too abrupt, either. Just right. Keep it up, and great job! Gold star!
Goldie
Thankyou everyone! And yes, this is supposed to poke fun at cliche. Not really supposed to be that much of an emotional piece, but I'll take the compliments I can get, I guess, eh?
I love it! Full of emotion and kind of funny, I really liked the ending! ^-^
*blushes* Thankyou people! All the compliments mean alot to me!
I love this! It's amazing. Have you thought of publishing it?
Keep writing!
~Rachael
Yes!
I love appreciation for cliche. It's something I think isn't given much of a chance anymore.
I love the first two stanzas. Very nice word choice and structure. Also, the essence of cliche.
Nice work. I'll be searching for more!
Thankyou for the compliments~!
The "good guy" of cliches. I liked it. Your twits on cliches. It was good, I like it. Thats all I can say.
I liked this! It made me smile. Even though this poem was dripping with Cliche-ness it was creative and had originality. I've never quite read anything like this. The idea is new to me. Keep writing!
Haha. Thankyou! I appreciate it a ton!
Normally I'm not a fan of cliches. They detract from peice but to get over idea it's rather ingenius. You use every cliche you can think of, but the end it's just hilarious. Overall: I'm gonna to star this. It made me smile.
Good luck
VSN
I really like this, moving, good wording, good structure and an overall nice poem.