Published April 14, 2008
The wind blows sweetly.
Whipping my hair ‘round my eyes,
like a mask.
“Come to me” it calls breathlessly
whispering dark nothings in my ear.
It calls.
“Come to me be free, end it all”
Gently calling around me,
drying my tears.
I’m walking towards
the soft sweet voice.
It knows my name.
“Be free, come with me.
No more pain.
It ends”
Longingly, slowly I walk to the voice.
“Embrace me”
I stare into his eyes.
All goes black and numb.
I’m drifting, he whispers
“Be free”
*what do you honestly think?" ![]()
Points:
Time spent:
IP address:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
Are you sure you want to delete this comment? This cannot be undone.
Mark this comment as a review? Points will be awarded to the poster.
Your comment was posted, but it wasn’t long enough to count as a review. Reviews need about four complete sentences (at least 250 characters). Try writing another review that explains your thoughts in more detail — the author will appreciate it, and you’ll earn points for it.
It's quite confusing.I got an idea what the poetry was about in the third stanza.
by the way what does 'whispering dark nothings in my ear' mean.Your arrangement of the words were really good.For a first it was really good.
Good poetry.Didn't get it that much but it was really good
hum... seriously? no one got what it was about?
i saw it coming from the third stanza. In the end, she gives in to death right? At least that was I got out of it... Really nice. Nice flow. Nice wording.
For your fist poem written, this is good.
keep writing!
This is a great poem! I love it but it could flow a little better near the beggining
Yeah, I've had that problem a lot with this poem.
She's supposed to be giving into death...
I've have gotten a lot of different reactions to this. Most think it's about sex.
Thanks for all of your critiques though.
it was pretty good, but I'm confused. is it the wind, or a guy talking to you? And is it about love and death, or seeing something for the first time truly? keep writing, just try something a little simpler, less confusing.
I dont completely get it but a nice read all the same.
not bad, but it doesn't really make to me. What is it about?