Young Writers Society

Okay so you have a good basis going here, but you go through it way too quickly. Maybe try to slow Kathreen's revelation of who she is over a week ...

*Thought I'd critique the first chapter before I had to go for the night :) * Mmkay. The fist chapter as a whole was okay. I think you should add ...

Well i see the nit picking has already been done. This kinda reminded me of twilight. Not a lot but just the small things. Like her going to live with ...

Well I see all the nit picking has been done so I get to give you one of those reviews that make you feel all warm and fuzzy inside! :D ...

Jessie! *tackles you* I forgot you joined for a minute... Anyways... I really liked this! And I can't wait to read more. I like how you introduced the vampires... It ...

This was a good start. It pulled me in. The only mistake that kind of made me reread it was this one: No one would have guessed it’d be us, ...

Well now that everyone's already gotten the nit-picking over with I get to tell you how much I liked it. :D This was a very good introduction to the main ...

Okay, hi again. This was good but I saw a couple of things that didn't make sense. Even I couldn't see it at the start either, That sentence doesn't sound ...

Hey! Welcome to YWS. This was a sad thing to write about, but I don't know... It just seems more personal. Which don't get me wrong, I like personal pomes, ...

Yeah, I don't see how it's like Twilight... Anyway, there were typos but Sela got the ones I saw. Okay, about the principal giving her the message from her mom... ...

This was good. :D I liked it a lot. There were some words that could've been changed but all in all this is a great poem. I hope you're thinking ...

Well everyone already got through the nit picking. I thought this was good. I liked your choice of discriptive words. All it needed was some polishing which they've has already ...

Okay, yes, there were typos and punctuation mistakes. (I'll fix the mistakes and make them bold.) Her dad’s breath reeked , badly . “And where’s your vest?” He asked, anger ...

Hey, it was good but I did see some mistakes. You relies that your hopes were just a bluff It's realize. There was that and you need to use more ...

You used punctuation! Thank you. I liked this a lot. It flowed well and I liked the discriptive words you used. I don't normally like kind of long poems but ...