Vampiress

Erin swallowed her tears. Mm, little short. What about : Erin swalled her tears that ran down her face like raindrops. >.> I don't know, but it sounds better like ...

Forgotten, Once again... excellent piece of work you've written. Basically the same things I had pointed out before, still the name Lexine I picture a girl, when I know it's ...

It's your own work nobody know the story line as well as you. Try coming up with many ideas and see how they flow with the other parts. The one ...

Very good. I'm not the best at picking out errors, so I hope the rest are. Sorry, and I just have a bit of advice.... Lexine makes me think of ...

Early morning signaled the sky, the bands of orange light rising into the blue, like a sunset in reverse. Not a car was on the road on the New York ...

Lexine. Never a good place to start, out of order, not to fit in. This sentence makes me wonder, Is it a person or place? You don't want your reader ...

Hey there Aina, I started reading but I lost interest because 1. I knew hardly ANYTHING about the main character,which makes me wonder what the person is like which gets ...

I knew was she spoke was true, That doesn't make sense. Change to " I knew what she spoke of was true". Other than that I thought it was really ...

I stood from my vantage point Um, That's not the best opening line. Opening lines should be really interesting, descriptive and make you wanna keep reading. I found this quite ...

By the way, I love your title for it. It really caught my attention. Good luck and I hope tons of people read it. Have you written more than chapter ...

I liked it. Once thing, the name Alexis, is a bit too common. It was excellent!! Good luck and I hope you get very very far on it. The title ...

We generally looked like wolves. The exceptions being that our ears were wider and longer, and our back legs were longer, giving us more speed.' We generally looked like wolves ...