TwinSeed

The plot could be re-written to reduce confusion and wordiness, but I'm not concerned with that. The first paragraph feels dramatically overused, no offense. It needs a hook, something exciting ...

No offense, but I got bored with it halfway through. This could be prevented easily, by adding punctuation and spacing. I'll break this down into different sections, my opinions of ...

I agree, this is lovely writing, but hasn't lived up to its potential. The first stanza is superb, I just want to nit-pick. It should read something like "The freckles ...

As stated above, this is very simple. That may work for some subjects, but not stress. One reason is because not all stress is bad. There's good stress, happy stress, ...

Honestly, this was quite confusing and hard for me to decipher. I see the weight of God weather wrinkled canyons to sand. This sentence, this two lines, were actually incredible ...

This poem was so peaceful :3 I like your use of scenery, and I applaud you. We listen to the crickets, and my forgotten coqui. My first instinct after reading ...

I caught myself feeling confused a lot, because of your lack of punctuation. In most places that you left blank, you should add a comma or period, otherwise it all ...

First I was like "...", then I was like "-.O', then I was like "..wtf? -fear-" In the first three lines I was worried, concerned for everyone's safety. Literately. It ...

Ah, reelationships. What a topic. And what a poem you've made from it! In the first stanza, I really like how you captured the imprisonment of love, of how you ...

I'm also part of this contest and see that we have two clearly different topics, haha. Not being sure what exactly you're talking about, I'll critique it as best I ...

Ahaha, lovely. Monsters, what a wonderful topic. However, I sense that these aren't fairytale monsters that you're talking about, which makes it all the better (being as that's what most ...

Hahaha, jcha, that was quite an episode you had. Made me laugh. Which is healthy, especially after this poem gets you down. Don't get me wrong, I loved it. And ...

I'm going to break this down by what I thought and felt at certain parts of the poem. Ready? Go. The very first line is where I'll start. Eternal sleep... ...

Let me start by saying, thank you for asking me to review this. You did a great job. Everything was so detailed, except the people. I actually felt cool while ...

This poem was very interesting to read. Very creative. You turned a boring subject into a mysterious story, and I applaud you for that. The imagery was also great, though ...