ToritheMonster

Hey there, I see you wrote a poem. I think you have a pretty decent idea here. I picture a girl who looks very world-weary and like she's been beaten ...

Some of the best advice I ever got was that egregious use of the words 'you' and 'I' turn any poem into a rant. Look at your poem. Take out ...

This is a really interesting work! I usually don't love formatting that goes outside the norm with bolds and such, but you use it in a really creative way. Was ...

Hey there! So, I haven't read your novella, but I'll give you my thoughts on this poem anyway. First, I think you have some really cool ideas. It's very dark, ...

"You see things; and you ask 'why?', but I dream things that never were and I ask 'why not?'" This quote by George Bernard Shaw is effective because while the ...

A little hint: "it may be cliche" has become cliche. This is cute, and I won't criticise the choppiness because it's poetry. It's clearly what you intended. However, the wording ...

Hey there! So, I'm going to assume that you're new to the world of script writing. Your formatting here is very off and your stage directions are really unclear. However, ...

Hey there! So, just a quick review. I appreciate your ideas here, and suicide is a poignant issue. I also agree with Bhay, you have the start of an interesting ...

I don't have time to do a super thorough review or anything, but I would like to say that I love your plot. It's so original! All throughout this story ...

Hola! So I think I'll go oldschool and write my comments/corrections right into the body of the story in the colour.... hm.... bright blue . Here goes. Lately the sun ...

Hey! Here as requested. First, here are some edits for you: Because I can't handle this simple truth-- You could just use a colon here, you don't need the dashes. ...

Heya! So, first time reviewing in a while, but this seemed worth it. First, let me say you have some crazy potential here. Most people have a very limited vocabulary ...

Hi there! I've been gone for some time, and I'm still unfamiliar with the new site format- so please excuse me if this is typed or submitted in an odd ...

My dear, Firstly, this is a site for your original work. In general, unless it was collaborative, people do not post works by friends from outside the site under their ...

Jas! Sorry it took me so long to get to this. School and such. Anyway, I love this! Like, seriously. I love it. You captured the funeral perfectly. It was ...