Tenyo

Hey Myjaspercat! This poem was quite thick to chew through. I think you've done an amazing thing in taking such a deep theme and being able to dig in and ...

Part Six -> I'm going to be honest, my stomach turned when they mentioned the fertiliser. That was a great decoy and you wrote it really well! I do hope ...

Part Five -> Don't do it, don't do it, don't do it! This chapter is so tense. I know it's a very simple thing they're doing but everything is going ...

Part Four -> Aw man, one of the councillors! I guess that means these guys aren't just a petty street gang. Getting your hand cut off to cover a crime ...

Part Three -> There's something funky about those names. I'm up to part six and I'm getting used to them but they're a little bit odd. Shandi seems far less ...

Hey Fort! I agree with Pompadour about the atmosphere. You've set it so well! It's the little details that really make it. Kerra's address, for example, is such a tiny ...

Hey Oxara! I like the sense of urgency in the fight scene, it comes across really well in the way the actions play out. I can see a move-by-move narrative ...

Hey Fort < 3 I'll hold out because this is a work in progress and I'm gonna guess that you're already editing out some of it, but, stuff I like ...

Hey Eros! What hit me first about this is the rhyming. A lot of poems I read of this kind of theme are free verse, which kind of has it's ...

Hi SimpleBicycle! This made me laugh so hard. Why has this been buried at the bottom of the green room for a week? I think it could do with a ...

Hey Saen! Great opening. The towering giants is a really strong image and reading it I felt immediately enveloped by it. The silence of them creates a tenderness along with ...

This is really cool! Even if it is a bit fragmented. I think if you polished it up a bit more you could have something quite amazing. Like... author's notes ...

Hi Moonflower Great opening chapter! From the way Diamond and Lightening behave I get the impression that the world they live in is a very dangerous one for creatures of ...

Hi Wonder! I think the characterisation in this is great. The description of Hannah, Jemma and Lola being more like associates than friends even though they hang around together says ...

Hi Papillote! Your use of vocabulary is awesome. 'A flow of lights bathed the scene,' is one that I particularly like, and the 'shrill ring tone.' It's those tiny details ...