I think this is amazing because you are capturing something that goes on inside your own head into words. That is something that is really difficult to do. You really captured the way you were feeling.
As for the capital letters, I think an interesting thing to do with this is maybe to get rid of the capital letters completely, but instead replace it with repetition. So maybe repeat "I want to rip my skin off. I want to rip my skin off. I want to rip my skin off," for several lines. This makes it easier to communicate the feeling of urgency, desperation, and panic to the readers. Or if you want, you could keep it this way. It also depends on whether this is from anger or panic because I feel like to me, you are making the capital letter seem more like anger than panic, but according to the writing surrounding the parts with capital letters, to me it seems like it is more panic than anything and if it is panic, I feel like repetition would be better.
I think this captures it nicely and I can understand the randomness like when you start thinking about animals, because your thoughts are blended together and random, probably shifting between emotions. If you are still in complete panic when switching thoughts, maybe try to make it sound more desperate.
But I don't know exactly what you were experiencing, so I can't say much. I don't know how a sensory episode feels, so the way you write it just depends on you. These are only some ideas.
I thought this was a good way to put the way you felt down into words. It sounds really difficult to deal with though, and I am glad you could try to make others understand with this piece, but I wish you the best of luck dealing with this.
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Reviews: 13
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