Temi

My friend you've done it again. I have come to respect the subtle prowess you possess in story-telling. The first paragraph depicts this clearly. You started with a strong tempo ...

Wow! Wow! I don't really read stories on YWS but this is.... The word choice is simply beautiful it was laced in perfection and it helped immensely to conjure sensual ...

Few nitpicks: ''The little line mocks. (I feel like something more should come after mocks like: ''the little line mocks my muse'') (I would add ''As'' here)It knows that the ...

This is funny cause I am Yoruba... Anyway to review: The poem seemed a bit too ''blanch'' for me lacking colour and enough descriptions; it felt more like a skeletal ...

Few nitpicks: ''I’m missing the strength I need, the compassion, (semi colon) the state of mind.'' (to do what or for what?) Overall, it's a unique voice with a clear ...

Few nitpicks: ''I took it off for she. (I can understand that rhymes are in play but using ''she'' isn't to emotionally satisfying, ''her'' would have been better but I ...

Few nitpicks: ''Deceiving the reality (I would scratch the ''the'') and, engulfing the possible entity.'' (here too) ''Occasionally, ( I don't think you need the word ''occasionally'') escaping into t

Damn, is this good! The words literally bounce in my mind and I can see clearly the images prancing about in my mind's eye and for some reason I am ...

Honestly, I'd say you have your theme to thank for the beauty of this poem. Other than, It felt rushed to me. I didn't understand the structure and arrangement of ...

Reading through the poem, I noticed the following: ''You picked up a white feather of the ground'' (off not of) ''and you traces these translucent tracks trailing'' (you traces?) ''Sweety ...

This is a beautiful poem and has a lyrical feel to it. There's just one thing I need to clarify, you said: ''I stare into a shattered mirror Watching pieces ...

This is quite interesting. I found it an amusing piece given the fact that it carries with it an inevitable truth concerning the concept of time and life. I do ...

Funny! I find interesting that you draw inspiration from an object many of us fine mundane. Due to this fact, it gives a special uniqueness to your poem and presents ...

Structurally the poem puts me off... Also, I have to say that the rhyming does feel forced and kills (ultimately) the rhythm of the poem. I can understand that this ...

ohhhhh! You killed it! Normally, I have my reservations to repetitions in poems but this was nicely done. Your words were literally dancing in my mind. I found simplicity through ...