Swottielottie

I havn't finished it yet I was leading up to dialogue and stuff this is just the begginning part. Charlotte

It wasn't my kind of poem, but it was good if you're american or something. I didn't like that line either and some bits of it were cliched like the ...

I liked it but I don't know why it was called fickle maybe you could show that more or maybe its just me. Good work! charlotte

I bet you would but its good that you think about these sort of things, it means your curious which means your clever. (well, that's what I say anyways) Charlotte

RE stands for Religious Education, Don't you have one?

*Applauds* Much better Iquippie! I like the way you gave your views on God at the end, it was quite interesting. (Will definetly need to show my R.E teacher.) I ...

Thank you! I may edit this someday but I wrote this a very long time ago. Thanks for the comments! Charlotte

It nice and surprisinly dark. I like the first piece of imagery but the last stanza confused me. It was quite good but it did seem like prose not poetry. ...

No way is it lame! It was a tiny tiny bit cliched but I liked the cuteness! ~Charlotte~

It was funny but a little creepy. I'm never eating Mcdonalds again! (Thats a lie, i can't resist fries and milkshake!) ~Charlotte~

It was pretty good but just a few things to do: 1) Why is it called heartbeat? Maybe add something in to do with it? 2) Describe more of what ...

I liked this poem but I think it needs more. maybe more to do with the title ceasing souls? A few more stanzas and it will be much better!

I liked the first line but I think you should change line 4. It was cute and imaginative. I adore it! Charlotte

Cool! The poem does show passion for cars /driving and I can picture everything you say. I love this part: Life seems so clear, in that rear view mirror Good ...

Nice, flowing, gentle poem! I like it! Charlotte