Swiftfurthewarrior

Wont should have an apostrophe. Aside from that, it's a wonderful piece! I like the formatting and the stanzas. It clearly shows that there are two people. Then again, you ...

Great job! I have only one thing to say. In the disclaimer, wrote should be written.

Thanks! :D

I can relate to this. Somewhat. I read this and that one line from Ender's Game came into my head.

I didn't know that toddlers knew the concept of revenge.

It's fixed now.

Did no one notice the unintentional space between But and the in the last stanza? Oh well. I only just noticed it myself. :)

see the comment under JoytheBrave's response Thank you! :)

It did help, but I''m not sure how to insert lines that would create images without interrupting the flow/feel of this poem. Actually, this poem just randomly came up, so ...

The twist on light was a quote from Lightning in FF XIII Thanks, i appreciate it! :)

You don't have to take it out. I like how it shows David's ignorance. Or, whatever it was you were trying to convey. :)

It's a nice piece. I just don't think there is a John 3:60.

My favorite color is brown, but people say I look good in red. *Now I'm not so sure of that. :)*

Did you post it yet? I can't find it.

Isn't this the example you used to help me with my only-black-dragon-story? :)