Sureal

Yay, demons! (Demons are cool 8)) 'She runs. She disappears. She reappears. She is gone.' - This line confuses me. Okay, so she runs and she disappears from sight. But ...

You should certainly continue with your story (and that applies to everyone reading this). However, might I suggest that you open the story with some sort of action (eg. a ...

Hello Fantasyartist, me again. :P Seth woke up in a warm and extremely comfortable bed with a feeling of confusion and dull pain in his head. - Suggestions: ‘Seth woke ...

A dark figure stood facing the front gates of Alu’en, the fortress of Venar, his black robes whipping around him in the wind, his face hidden deep inside the cowl ...

Seth Ranlais awoke to the clangour of the great bell with a start and fell off his bed with a thud. - Suggestion: ‘Seth Ranlais woke with a start to ...

First off: fix your paragraph formatting - it's distracting at the moment. Double-space all of the paragraphs (and that includes each new line of speech), not just half of it. ...

Hello Incan ^_^. As usual, your writing is excellent. However, you refer to everyone as 'he', and often switch between which character your talking about. At times, this can be ...

Have you had problems insulting yourself before? Really, there it no need. No no, she's done it before.

Hello Southern_Belle ^_^. ‘The pair of knights rode along in silence until they reached Valent, the capital city of Autumn Springs. They then dismounted and tethered their horses to a ...

Personally, I prefer the Demonata series. The Saga of Darren Shan (as it should be known, not the crappy American title of 'Cirque du Freak Series') suffers from a number ...

I'd say the main problem with An Inconvenient Truth is that it only portrays a worst case scenario, without much consideration for the many, and more likely, other outcomes of ...

I've been thinking about the meaning of this for a little while, and I'm guessing the idea of having too many sixes relates back to both the number of the ...

It's only been two hours since you posted, be patient. I've had pieces of work not recieve a crit until days after posting it. - Try to limit verbs ('doing ...

Well, I certainly did like it. Not sure why I warranted a special mention in the intro, but what the hey :). I like the structure you used, the iambic ...

Hello Shadowsun :). 1) Pick your target audience. At the moment you seem to be in a sort of limbo, unsure if you're aiming this story at people familiar with ...