Sureal

Hello, Jiggity. :) 1. The boy jumped, a small scream escaping his throat. This feels rather melodramatic compared with what’s happened so far. It’s mainly the word ‘scream’ that feels ...

Alrighty there, Joeducktape. ^_^ Just a quick, ‘thank yah’ crit, for reviewing my piece. There wasn’t any breeze that day , which was odd , honestly. There were gloomy , ...

I feel like the six previous books were almost like an introduction to this one. All the different books have introduced various different parts of the Harry Potter mythology, and ...

"The young man was young." Hah hah, is that an actual line? XD Also, I seem to recall someone quoting something along the lines of, "You're name is unique. Only ...

*gasps* Cos Paolini was really the first person to have gold armour. Cos it really isn't a common Fantasy convention at all. Seriously, why is everyone looking for reasons to ...

Hello. :) I'm not sure if you really need this prologue. Would it not be better to release this information in the actual story? What you have told us: - ...

Hello. :) You might one to try double spacing your stories (putting a blank line inbetween each paragraph, like this post). It makes your stories easier to read, although the ...

I'm gonna be different, and say that, actually, I really enjoyed this. To the point that, when asked to put car in the garage half-way through the poem, I sat ...

Lo. but quickthinking and brave - Correction: ‘but quick thinking and brave’ Especcially since the new emerging tyrant had begun to gain power. Lady Tain was indescribably beautiful. She could ...

Well, the series has its own Wikia. When people started to read Paolini's books, many critisized the plot plans. People claimed that this book was to much like earthsea books(refering ...

I think the last three books are the best, although most fans actually say they're the worst. I didn't find the plot twists at all confusing - indeed, a number ...

I'm guessing the Inheritance series is a no-no. It is, after all, perhaps the main reason we're making this list. :P I've never read it (nor even heard of it ...

Hah hah, I completely blanked out the final line for some reason, and didn't realise it was humans until you pointed it out. Kind of stupid of me really, especially ...

Hello. Your writing style reads and flows well, so it'd be criminial of me not to open this crit without mentioning that. However, I feel the main weakness with this ...

Hello Pyxis. ^_^ I have to say - this is pretty good. But you haven’t yet got the hang of speech punctuation, which is a trick beast. Your dialogue, also, ...