Summerless

I agree with leja. This poem would be a great part of a song. I thought everything flowed quite nicely. Just don't forget to capitalize the first letter in each ...

Picturesque? Nice word :] Thank you, ChildofEden, for the compliments and I'll work a little more on the rhythm. - Summerless

Thank you everyone for the compliments and critiques. Sol is Latin (and Spanish) for "sun." I will work on the last couplet at the end. ^ _ ~ Once again, ...

I dislike reviewing the same piece of writing twice but I reread this and thought, "Wow, this sounds a lot better than I remembered it to be." So I'll post ...

Oh, that was so good! I can't find anything to critique so this review will be short. The diary part and the stalker part amused me. Keep on writing! This ...

Excellent again, Ross. I'll review tomorrow when because I have to log out so hang tight!

Wow, I loved your line breaks. They flowed so perfectly and the start of each stanza couldn't have been better. *clicks gold star* Well done. :]

I agree with CK Lynn. The lyrics are kind of haunting. ---- Edit ---- This is Evanescence's song? I'll go listen to it right now. :]

Oh wow, this is great! I love the chorus and bridge. Nice title, too. Your W.I.C. (writer in crime >: D), Jion.

Oh, and a few more things. His hands slid around my sides, held me to his naked chest. The sentence above, the part after the comma--clause two--doesn't sound right. I'm ...

Love the title and how you ended the poem. Good use of repetition.

This is my first narrative poem I read and you told the story well. You also had good vocabulary (quelling, wizened, scorned, cease). Way to go :]

This is so cute! You totally have a child's characterization and dialogue mastered. I'm so giving you a gold star.

I like how you repeated "Sitting in a sea full of people." That is such a great metaphor yet it is original! Good job

Try spacing your paragraphs out a bit more. Overall it sounds good.