StoryWeaver13

I think this is good, but it sounds like you just need to give your characters a little more depth. Give Eli a reason to be grouchy and pessimistic (maybe ...

You've gotten some really good advice on ways to revise this, so all I'm gonna say is nice job. This sounds really interesting and I'm curious to see where you ...

This is pretty good, my only suggestion is giving your main character some more personality. Of course, that could develop later in the story also, when she isn't so "tied ...

Wow, I really like this, and I can definately relate (although I suppose that's not a good thing...) I agree, too: words are the greatest weapon anyone can possess. My ...

This is a decent poem, the only thing is that it's nothing...well, nothing remarkable. It just doesn't stand out amid the hundreds of others around here. The rhyme scheme's uninteresting, ...

Wow, nice. I think you captured this really well and done something that a lot of people seem to lack - bringing it to life and capturing deeper meaning. I ...

Whoa, I think the idea of this is really cool! BUT I think you didn't do enough to capture it. Try finding ways to really bring this to life, to ...

I agree that the first verse is kinda confusing, I just don't get it. The rest is good though, and I got the message really clearly. Remember that you don't ...

To answer the question above, yes, I beli e ve they do have way too much power. The first sentence (or at the least the first paragraph) of whatever you're ...

Hey, and welcome to the site. First off, I love your character's voice. It feels real to me, like someone sitting there talking. I like that you point out your ...

This is good, I'd just find a way to break the first lines up some more so it looks more like a poem than a paragraph. Oh, and "granite" should ...

Hey there. Creative beginning, the only thing is that when I first read it the "she" got a little confusing because you were talking about both Mother Nature and your ...

Pointing this out just because I read another one of your poems, but this poem and the other have the same rhyme scheme. And like I said in the other ...

Hey, You wonder why I sleep with a goddam 357 Magnum under my pillow and a fucking Mossberg shotgun under my bed. First thing I want to point out is ...

Hey, I liked this, just a couple of things. The first is the title, like they've already pointed out. I mean, it made me curious to read it but it ...