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StoryWeaver13

  • Poetry » Narrative, General Re: Music wins this war

    An ancient piano rests silently in its forgotten memory. The way this is worded is a little weird... The room deserted for decades. I think this could be put a ...

    Mar 31, 2011
  • Novel / Chapter » General, General Re: In the wind

    Bug's right, there are a TON of things that need to get cleaned up in this (and you'll get a lot more reviews on context of your story if it's ...

    Mar 31, 2011
  • Short Story » Romantic, General Re: A Broken Heart to Fix

    I kind of felt like it was a little rushed, and it would've been nice to have a little more of their background and relationship and things along that line, ...

    Mar 29, 2011
  • Poetry » Lyrical, General Re: You And I

    This was good, but the one thing was (like they already said before) short poems can work if everything gets wrapped up the right way, but this just felt like ...

    Mar 29, 2011
  • Poetry » Lyrical, General Re: Small to Me.

    Honestly, this poem felt a little weak for me. The overall story was kind of overdone and cliche, and then there's a sing-songy rhyme scheme that really doesn't help. I ...

    Mar 29, 2011
  • Poetry » Lyrical, General Re: 0.

    This was really pretty, the way it just kind of rolls of your tongue and flows, but at the same time I felt like you were over-trying when it came ...

    Mar 29, 2011
  • Poetry » Other, General Re: To You, My Twin (and Favorite Partner in Crime)

    I love this! I wish I felt the same closeness with my sister. This was so cool, it just had a great kind of funny quality, but I think it ...

    Mar 28, 2011
  • Poetry » Lyrical, General Re: Moonlight on the Floor

    Urgh, Warrior Princess, I loathe your ability with words. This is pure poetry (wait...okay, that saying is rendered a little pointless in this case...but I'm tired and you know what ...

    Mar 5, 2011
  • Poetry » Lyrical, General Re: If I Give Her To You

    This was sweet, but I agree with what I think LittlePetRock was saying; you build it up but then just kind of miss the mark and leave it kind of ...

    Mar 5, 2011
  • Short Story » Romantic, General Re: What Girls Want~part one

    This is a good plotline so far, I really like the girl character and the dynamics your characters have together. I think this needs some cleaning up, grammar-wise and tempo, ...

    Mar 5, 2011
  • Poetry » Other, General Re: Bigger than man

    The bigger the heart the harder they fall, And down the boy fell. Through The cracks he dissipated, Through the boards he dropped. Past the rats and the drains and ...

    Mar 5, 2011
  • Novel / Chapter » Action / Adventure, General Re: Half Truths

    This is a pretty cool beginning, although I'm not completely hooked. It just feels a little dry and common. I think you could find a more dynamic way of introducing ...

    Mar 5, 2011
  • Poetry » Lyrical, General Re: Thumbtack

    This was entertaining to read, just kinda cute and funny and quirky, with its own simple little personality. I think it's kind of lacking in something that I can't put ...

    Mar 4, 2011
  • Novel / Chapter » General, General Re: Untitled

    This was a pretty cool story plot-wise, but you could've made it so much longer! Give us descriptions, emotions, etc. All-in-all, what I'm trying to say is that we need ...

    Mar 3, 2011
  • Poetry » Dramatic, General Re: So get out

    Man, my dad's really sick right now so I know how it feels. You see death right in front of you, and for a second you're scared...then you're angry. Your ...

    Mar 3, 2011


We're all stories in the end.
— 11th Doctor