Squall

Ok, dragons in fantasy = borderline to fail. Why? Because this "legendary" monster has existed throughout literature for a long time and I believe the old guy should be put ...

Ok, I only read a quarter of the story, but a quarter of it was enough for me to form a strong enough opinion on the piece. Firstly, telling and ...

This was pretty good. The plot and the descriptions were pretty well written, but I have some suggestions. Try incoporating what is happening with the characters themselves. It will add ...

Derek, there is too much telling in this piece. The plot is basically slammed into our faces. Treat the reader with some respect. Allow them to discover for themselves as ...

The piece relies too heavily on a dialogue technique to move the story. As a result, the story reads like a script rather than an actual story and the deeper ...

Author13, the actual idea behind the poem I thought was intruging, but the way that it was presented killed any chance of it being memorable and interesting. It read like ...

Hrmm I think you tried too hard to make the style of the writing fancy. You used way too much descriptions and details which do little to leave an impression ...

Hey Vernon. What's up and grats for finishing your first book. I'll first discuss the things that I like in this piece. Firstly, your descriptions. It is evident that you've ...

Hi there Dawn. Your descriptions in this piece were shown ok, but it lacks colour and variety. It's just generic fantasy stuff really. From the way you described the tower ...

Hey there FireArris. Personally, I would keep the opening statements, because it is quite a clear explaination as to what is happening and to be honest, I quite liked the ...

Hey there. I'll keep this short and straight to the point. The first paragraph is a cliche. It's not because that it is an info dump, but how it is ...

Hey Ash. Firstly, I think this could go with more showing than telling. You told us of what is happening and all that kind of stuff but I can't really ...

Hey Ariel. I would like to start off by saying that I did not like this. It didn't leave me with much of an impression so it was medicore at ...

Hey there Syd. First of all, I would like to say sorry as my critique will not help you address issues like punctuation and capitalization as that can be easily ...

Hey Flora. Overall, I appreciated the effort that you invested into this piece and I like it, somewhat. However, it didn't really command my attention, mostly due to the prose ...