Snoink

You, my dear, are one of the rare and few very talented writers who exist. With that said, I shall comment. First of all, this was a spooky piece and ...

As this is a fanfiction and I am a mod, I shall put it in its rightful place! :D I think you need a catchier beginning. At the moment, it's ...

Eep! I don't know much about yoga, but I will bump the thread and comment on a sentence, okay? :D Whether you're English or western, jumping or leading, they can ...

So sad. :( I have a doggie (a 10 year old german shepherd) and even just thinking about her dying is horrible. I can't imagine living through it. :( Okay... ...

I don't think this really works , especially as a quiet horror piece. For one, the use of the chatroom makes your setting a lot less real. We don't really ...

This seems too prosaic, especially the first four lines. Unfortunately, the first four lines are supposed to be what hooks you in. The rest of the poem is much better ...

LOVE the title, as it has to do with math and linear algebra. Therefore, the critique! This critique will be mostly about word choice and how certain words can affect ...

Hm. It doesn't catch me because it doesn't seem to have any conflict. I mean, it's a musing and that makes it interesting, to some extent, but it doesn't make ...

I am going to slaughter this, not because I hate you because I love your dialogue. Seriously. It's to the point and doesn't pull any punches. It just is and ...

Ooo... I did like this. The imagery was pretty an it reminded me a little of Miss Emily Dickinson, sort of. But still! Up. Down. Ceaseless whirling. I didn't like ...

Remember: spellcheck is your friend. Also, the title sucks. I realize that this might be symbolic of the idiocy of the teenage years, but I think you're over-doing it there. ...

Oooo... I liked this. It was simplistic, yet not simple, which is very good and I like your use of adjectives. Like a Kindergartner's valentine, I don't think you should ...

As promised, I am here! The story was nice to read and I enjoyed. With that said... the comments! There wasn’t any breeze that day. Which was odd, honestly. The ...

w00t! First comment! I am going to take all the adverbs out. A void of falling petals Spiraling down in a symphony Singing songs we cannot hear And crashing. Still ...

Okay... no grammar? Lovely. You don't seem to have bad grammar anyway. The stench of dust filled her nostrils as she entered the abandoned throne room. It was evident that ...